December 24, 2009

It is Christmas Eve and I just wanted to take a couple of minutes to wish everyone a very happy holiday.  The New Year is quickly approaching and I'm excited to explore in even greater depth the power of positive thinking.  I thank all of you for accompanying me on my journey.  My kids are beside themselves with excitement for tomorrow and have a day planned of getting together with friends and family.  We are also getting ready for a trip to visit family, with a little excursion for my husband and I away from the kids - Yah!  I will catch up with everyone at the New Year.  Happy Holidays everyone!  Stay safe, eat lots of yummy treats and hug those that you love.  See you next year!

December 22, 2009

Hello everyone! I can’t believe Christmas is on Friday. Where has this year gone? I think I am starting to wonder that every year. When you have children the years seem to fly by and you wonder how that’s possible. I’m sure that Christmas 2010 will be here before I know it, and I am looking forward to this New Year. My son will turn 5 and start kindergarten. My daughter will begin preschool, and a new baby will join our family in the summer. If I thought this year flew by, next year is already destined to be a whirlwind!


This past weekend I got really, really sick. I woke up Sunday morning and I couldn’t keep anything down. By evening I was completely dehydrated, and I ended up going to the hospital where they kindly injected me with anti-nausea medication and IV fluids. Once the medicine began coursing through my veins I was in heaven! I no longer felt like I was going to die. Even though Sunday was horrible there was a definite bright side to it that I wanted to share.

We have a two story house and my bedroom is upstairs. I spent the entire day lying in bed, with intermittent trips to the bathroom. Thank God my husband was home that day because I would not have been able to take care of my children. At first I was bummed because I had the entire day to myself to lie in bed and couldn’t even enjoy it because I was so sick. I was so nauseous I couldn’t even really sleep, so I just lied there and listened to my family downstairs. I could hear my kids fighting on occasion and my husband getting annoyed with them. But I also heard lots of laughter, my husband reading countless books to them, playing games, and making them lunch and dinner. Every once in awhile my son would yell up the stairs, “You ok up there?” I would always say yes even though I clearly wasn’t. I enjoyed listening to them so much for several reasons. First, it was incredibly rewarding to me to know I have a husband who can take care of me and the kids and who does such a good job of it. He never resorted to sticking the kids in front of the television or calling someone else to come over and take the load off. He was fantastic with them and I was proud of him and happy for our children. They had such a great time with their dad. I’ve always known what a good dad he was, but on this day I was able to really listen to him with the children. The other great thing about the day was to see how much my children love and worry about me. They were genuinely concerned and they lavished me with hugs and kisses. I felt so loved! I learned on this day of being so sick how many blessings I really have. I often get caught up in what’s missing from my life – the perfect house (our house is in remodel hell), a great career that lets me be with my family whenever I want and still make a ton of money, the perfect body. When you are physically well, all those things seem important. Only on a day when I felt like dying in my bed could I really hear the beautiful music of my life.

There will of course be many days in my future when I will not be able to hear the beauty in the pitter patter of little footsteps, or the shrieks that my daughter is famous for. The tears and whining will sound like fingernails on a chalkboard and the only drum I will notice will be from my pounding headache. However, one day, when I am old and wrinkly, my house will be too quiet and I will long for days of noise and chaos. In the meantime, I hope I can look back at my sick day and remember how much I enjoyed listening to it from a distance, and remember how lucky I am to be smack dab in the middle of it every single day.

December 16, 2009

Today I would like to announce some news – I am pregnant with my third child and due in July of 2010! I am about 9 weeks at this point and I was able to see the baby about a week ago – the little heartbeat fluttering rapidly. I hesitated whether to post my news on the blog now or until I passed the three month mark, but have decided to do it now because I want to share my journey with my readers no matter what path I may go down. Don’t worry – I won’t be logging every detail of my pregnancy, only things that are relative to testing the power of positive thinking.


I would, however, like to share a little more information about how this pregnancy came to be. As you all know I have two children and this will be my third (and last). I have struggled for a very long time in deciding whether or not to have a third child. I came from a family with two girls and always wanted a little larger family. Three seemed like the perfect number. But I worried about taking care of three small children, being able to afford them, etc. At one point this past year I was even trying to let the notion of having three children go, but it just kept coming back to me. After my son was born I knew that someone else was missing in our family. I knew we would have more children. After my daughter was born I still couldn’t shake the feeling that our family was not complete and someone was missing. Even as I tried to tell myself in a rational, logical way that we were fine with two kids, my heart just was not listening. When I went to see the ultrasound last week and saw my baby I had a profound sense of peace and I just looked at this baby and thought – I always knew you would come. Even though I am at the beginning of my pregnancy, I feel peaceful about our new addition and excited to welcome him/her into the world. I know that our family will be complete after this. My heart no longer aches for more.

I share this story because I think that sometimes we have such strong feelings in our lives, and perhaps that voice we hear is a higher power trying to guide us in the right direction. I don’t want these feelings to be confused with simple wants or temporary ideas that run through our heads. I have felt like someone was missing for a long time and I could never shake the feeling. I could not ignore it and I could not rationalize it away. Once I accepted my feelings and my path I actually began to feel free and peace settled within me. I think it’s important to listen to our hearts sometimes, especially when they tell us the same thing over and over again, and I am so grateful and happy to be adding to my beautiful family.

This entire experience has made me think more about spirituality. I have struggled with the concept of religion for a long time. I don’t want to offend anyone who is religious, it’s just for me personally I don’t understand how we have so many different religions and all of them claim to be the right way to go, and yet, in my mind, many of them seem so judgmental. I do, however, strongly believe in a higher power and pray on a regular basis. I feel a strong connection to something larger than myself. Sometimes I feel the pressure to define this connection, but I’m learning there is no need for it. My experience in the decision to have a third baby was not something I could explain to others. It was simply a powerful feeling I could not shake and I felt like I was being guided by something stronger than myself. I am feeling the need to be even more connected to my spiritual side. I think that something is missing from our lives when we don’t have any sense of peace or order in the world. The world is a confusing place and things often happen which we don’t understand. That is why I think every person should find some way to connect with a larger power or find a way to quiet their thoughts. Many people meditate, others pray, but whatever you do it must feel authentic to you. In order to live a life which is peaceful and positive, we must find a way to quiet our minds and listen to the very deepest part of our hearts that our guiding us. No matter how hard my new adventure will be, I know it is exactly where I am supposed to be and I will forever be happy that I listened to my heart. What is your heart telling you?

December 14, 2009

The other night my husband and I were watching Barbara Walter’s special The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009. There were a wide range of people on there, but one in particular, Jenny Sanford, caught my attention. Jenny Sanford is the wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, who mysteriously “went missing” earlier this year, only to be “found” having an affair with his mistress in Argentina. Walters picked Sanford because she is one of the only political wives to not stand beside her husband or stay with him. She has filed for divorce. The couple has four boys together.


So why is such a depressing story showing up in a positive thinking blog? Well, because I was impressed with the way she is handling the situation and the dignity and positive light she is seeking to find. You could tell from the interview that she was deeply hurt by the situation, but you could also see hope in her eyes. Sanford told Walters that “his actions hurt me, and they caused consequences for me, but they don’t in any way take away my own self-esteem…They reflect poorly on him.” She goes on to say that she forgives him but “forgetting is a different story.” Sanford feels that it is “one thing to forgive adultery; it’s another thing to condone it.” And I guess this is what is most fascinating to me. I am incredibly impressed that she can forgive her husband. I don’t know if I could ever do that. I am more impressed that her forgiveness does not mean staying with him or condoning his behavior, especially in light of the fact that they have four boys. I think it’s incredibly important to forgive, but I also think it’s important to not allow someone to walk all over you, embarrass you and disrespect your marriage. I admire her for showing her sons that she forgives their father but at the same time has an enormous amount of self-respect. She is also showing them that there are consequences for your actions.

We all have someone or something in our lives that we need to forgive. It’s important in moving forward and not building resentment and living off of anger. The December 2009 issue of Good Housekeeping has an article about the 7 Steps to Forgiveness and I wanted to highlight a couple of the steps. The first step is allowing yourself to feel anger. I think this is such an important step because many people associate forgiveness with pushing your feelings aside. In the article psychologist Julie Exline, Ph.D., says “forgiveness is not about being a doormat. Feeling safe and empowered is key.” Another step is recalling a time when you hurt someone and needed someone to forgive you. It gives you a little empathy. The fifth step is to remind yourself that forgiveness is a gift to yourself. I think this might be the most important step because when we hold on to anger and resentment it eats away at our bodies and makes us weak. It harms us much more than the person that hurt us. Forgiveness allows us to heal.

As Jenny Sanford knows all too well, the people we love the most have the most power to hurt us. That’s why forgiveness can be so difficult – we often can’t understand why they are hurting us. I have had moments in my life where forgiveness has been difficult but necessary. Sometimes it takes a couple of years to forgive someone. Everyone’s path to forgiveness is different. The key is to somehow get to that place of peace and move on with your life. I have had the opportunity to forgive in my life and I can honestly say that my life is twice as good for it.

December 10, 2009

I have come across several interesting factoids, if you will, about living positive. I thought I would put them all together for you, with a few added words of my own, in hopes that they will inspire and provoke meaningful thought. Let me know what you think!


• According to University of Michigan researchers, the life expectancy of Americans increased by 6.2 years during the Great Depression. They note that part of this was due to not having money to buy cigarettes or alcohol. I can’t help but think it might have had a little to do with people not looking to outward sources for happiness, material items, but having to realize the importance of family and simple things, like food on the table, a card game with friends, etc. While the Great Depression was horrible in many ways, I think it also established some core values that are missing from today’s society. Basics were important and people didn’t think Starbucks was a necessity. I think it’s interesting that one of the “worst periods in American history” actually increased American’s life expectancy.
(Information obtained from Oprah Magazine – January 2010 issue)

• In the 2010 issue of Glamour magazine, Laura Beil writes about a simple and easy way to get healthy in the New Year. She notes that “in a recent study, scientists found that forgiving types have less depression and lower total cholesterol than those that let resentment fester.” Turns out the best thing we can do for our health is to forgive someone. Who knew it was so easy? Or is it? Forgiveness is often the most difficult thing because we feel like forgiving is saying that what was done to us is ok. Forgiveness is about our own personal happiness and health, and forgiving someone does not condone their behavior. I will write more on this subject later, but take a moment to think about any grudges or frustrations you might be holding onto. It’s hurting you more than the person you are mad at!

• Many people suffer from chronic pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc. It has been found that women who attend pain management/education programs, which teaches patients how to control and prevent their pain, get up to 80% more relief than they do with prescription medications. I find this fascinating because we are a society that instantly turns to drugs to fix whatever ails us, and yet 80% more relief comes from changing thought patterns, learning how to relax, and even exercise. The mind body connection is powerful and our thoughts play a huge role in how our body responds to our circumstances!
(Information obtained from Woman’s World Magazine – 12/14/09 issue)

• Any of you out there tired a lot? Do you have difficulty sleeping? It turns out that a positive attitude and feeling gratitude in your life can improve your sleep. Researchers at the University of Manchester, England, discovered that those that are happiest and have the most gratitude sleep longer and better than their more negative and unappreciative counterparts. So, instead of watching the news or wallowing in the day’s events that didn’t go so well, takes a few moments to think about or write down what you are grateful for. You will sleep better, which surely will put you in a better mood the next day!
(Information obtained from Good Housekeeping – November 2009 issue)

Just a few things to consider about the effects of positive thinking. It’s amazing how powerful our thoughts can be!

December 8, 2009

I am feeling pretty upbeat today and thought I would have a little fun with positive thinking. Yesterday we got our first big snow of the season, about a foot, and it is beautiful! It does of course wreak havoc on anyone having to drive in it, but it’s early in the morning and the moonlight is glistening off the blanket of snow in my yard. You could think of a lot of negative things about the snow – hard to get to work, the kids are stuck inside, and it’s really, really cold! But there are so many better ways to look at it. I love how the snow makes my house look so beautiful. It covers up any imperfections (we bought a fixer upper). Yesterday when it was snowing my husband and I sat inside and played games, played with our daughter (our son is visiting his grandparents), and read books. We also ate lots of yummy snacks! We had an appointment in the morning, but once we got home we stayed there and just let the snow envelope our home. I think the best part about the snow is it forces you to slow down. You are more likely to make dinner at home and bake some goodies instead of going out. Television gets old quick, so you can pull out the board games and read with your children. Even if you have to go out into it, you are forced to drive slower, be more courteous and focus on what you are doing. I think its nature’s way of giving us a break from our hectic lives, or at least that’s what I enjoy about it.


Sometimes the weather gets really bad where I live and the schools close down. We call these snow days and the kids are always thrilled. They can go skiing or sledding, or whatever their hearts desire. While working hard is important, and we must be responsible in our jobs, I think it’s equally important for adults to enjoy an occasional snow day too! Psychologist Kathleen Nickerson, Ph.D., says, “How you choose to spend a snow day shows the activities you’re longing to participate in but rarely have time for.” When I was a kid I would spend my snow days sledding, drinking hot chocolate and watching movies. I never once thought about my day being wasted or what I was missing out on. Adults tend to worry so much they forget to enjoy the moment at hand. Kids always live in the moment and are much happier for it. What would you do with a snow day? Perhaps you don’t live by snow, or can’t take an entire day off work, but I encourage you to book one on your calendar. Can you take a half day off work and curl up on the couch in your pajamas watching movies and nibbling on popcorn? Can you push aside your weekend chores and take your kids sledding? Think about what activities you would love to do if you only had the time, and then make the time! Schedule it, plan it, and enjoy it! It’s good for the soul to take a little time to do something entirely pleasurable. I guarantee it will change your frame of mind.

December 3, 2009

The newspaper, or any news media for that matter, has never really been known for oozing positive stories – quite the opposite, in fact. There are the occasional lighthearted stories, but they are either posted somewhere in the back of the paper or in the last half hour of the show when everyone has gone to work. My husband has always liked the sports page of the paper, mostly because he’s an athlete and sports fan, but also because “it’s the one place where the images are usually more positive.” It seems, however, that negativity is creeping into these pages as well. With the recent confessions of Tiger Woods and his “transgressions” in his marriage, to the countless baseball players using steroids, it’s all a bit too depressing for me.


I guess I was really struck this week by the events that happened with Tiger Woods. Not so much because of him in particular, but just because these types of occurrences seem to be happening on a more regular basis. You see a sports figure, or any other celebrity for that matter, and it seems like they have everything. But do they really? From the outside, Tiger Woods appears to have it all – he is a multi-millionaire, gets to play golf for a living, is married to a Swedish model, and has two beautiful children. What’s not to envy? And yet, somehow, that’s not enough for him. And it’s funny because the public is so surprised that such a quiet force in golf has made such a loud blunder.

Why are we so surprised though? Well, for one, we think he has it all and can’t imagine how he could possibly be unhappy with his life. Why does a man need to cheat on his gorgeous model wife? I think this story clearly illustrates that money doesn’t make you happy. Money is of course necessary, can give you a great deal of freedom and can significantly reduce stress in life. But, just money itself does not make one happy. It does not provide for a happy marriage or make you a good parent. Many people believe that buying their children another X-box game or showering them with gifts is what they want. Of course they would like those things, but kids are really searching for your love and time and would never want material items over your attention. My kids love their toys but if I say, “Let’s read some books,” they are rushing over to spend time with me. My point being – I don’t need money to have a good relationship with my children or my husband. Nobody needs money for these things, so we shouldn’t believe that just because people we see in the media that “have it all” really do. They may have money or fame but that is no guarantee of a happy home.

The second reason we are so surprised is because we elevate people to unnatural levels of fame. We are amazed with Tiger Woods because we can’t believe what amazing hand eye coordination he possesses. We go crazy over music legends and sports figures because they have talents that entertain us. What is unfortunate to me in this world is how we judge a person solely on their talents and abilities, and not on their character. Perhaps that is because people with true character are not usually looking for fame or the limelight. They quietly go through their days being the good people they are and the media does not take notice of that because it’s boring. I guess my entire point here is that while we can still admire and enjoy the entertainment factor celebrities bring to us, we need to stop being so surprised by their transgressions (nor should we excuse them). Instead, we need to simply admire them for their talent, remember they are a form of entertainment, and start opening up our eyes to those quiet everyday heroes that are present in our lives on a daily basis. Positive images and people need not come from the media (although they occasionally do). Instead we should be looking at the people around us – the couple who has been married for 25 years and is happy and loyal – the teacher who gives countless hours to kids because he knows they need it – the women’s shelter volunteer who helps a woman and her child break a cycle. Whose character do you admire?  What positive effect can they have on your life?