It is Christmas Eve and I just wanted to take a couple of minutes to wish everyone a very happy holiday. The New Year is quickly approaching and I'm excited to explore in even greater depth the power of positive thinking. I thank all of you for accompanying me on my journey. My kids are beside themselves with excitement for tomorrow and have a day planned of getting together with friends and family. We are also getting ready for a trip to visit family, with a little excursion for my husband and I away from the kids - Yah! I will catch up with everyone at the New Year. Happy Holidays everyone! Stay safe, eat lots of yummy treats and hug those that you love. See you next year!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
December 22, 2009
Hello everyone! I can’t believe Christmas is on Friday. Where has this year gone? I think I am starting to wonder that every year. When you have children the years seem to fly by and you wonder how that’s possible. I’m sure that Christmas 2010 will be here before I know it, and I am looking forward to this New Year. My son will turn 5 and start kindergarten. My daughter will begin preschool, and a new baby will join our family in the summer. If I thought this year flew by, next year is already destined to be a whirlwind!
This past weekend I got really, really sick. I woke up Sunday morning and I couldn’t keep anything down. By evening I was completely dehydrated, and I ended up going to the hospital where they kindly injected me with anti-nausea medication and IV fluids. Once the medicine began coursing through my veins I was in heaven! I no longer felt like I was going to die. Even though Sunday was horrible there was a definite bright side to it that I wanted to share.
We have a two story house and my bedroom is upstairs. I spent the entire day lying in bed, with intermittent trips to the bathroom. Thank God my husband was home that day because I would not have been able to take care of my children. At first I was bummed because I had the entire day to myself to lie in bed and couldn’t even enjoy it because I was so sick. I was so nauseous I couldn’t even really sleep, so I just lied there and listened to my family downstairs. I could hear my kids fighting on occasion and my husband getting annoyed with them. But I also heard lots of laughter, my husband reading countless books to them, playing games, and making them lunch and dinner. Every once in awhile my son would yell up the stairs, “You ok up there?” I would always say yes even though I clearly wasn’t. I enjoyed listening to them so much for several reasons. First, it was incredibly rewarding to me to know I have a husband who can take care of me and the kids and who does such a good job of it. He never resorted to sticking the kids in front of the television or calling someone else to come over and take the load off. He was fantastic with them and I was proud of him and happy for our children. They had such a great time with their dad. I’ve always known what a good dad he was, but on this day I was able to really listen to him with the children. The other great thing about the day was to see how much my children love and worry about me. They were genuinely concerned and they lavished me with hugs and kisses. I felt so loved! I learned on this day of being so sick how many blessings I really have. I often get caught up in what’s missing from my life – the perfect house (our house is in remodel hell), a great career that lets me be with my family whenever I want and still make a ton of money, the perfect body. When you are physically well, all those things seem important. Only on a day when I felt like dying in my bed could I really hear the beautiful music of my life.
There will of course be many days in my future when I will not be able to hear the beauty in the pitter patter of little footsteps, or the shrieks that my daughter is famous for. The tears and whining will sound like fingernails on a chalkboard and the only drum I will notice will be from my pounding headache. However, one day, when I am old and wrinkly, my house will be too quiet and I will long for days of noise and chaos. In the meantime, I hope I can look back at my sick day and remember how much I enjoyed listening to it from a distance, and remember how lucky I am to be smack dab in the middle of it every single day.
This past weekend I got really, really sick. I woke up Sunday morning and I couldn’t keep anything down. By evening I was completely dehydrated, and I ended up going to the hospital where they kindly injected me with anti-nausea medication and IV fluids. Once the medicine began coursing through my veins I was in heaven! I no longer felt like I was going to die. Even though Sunday was horrible there was a definite bright side to it that I wanted to share.
We have a two story house and my bedroom is upstairs. I spent the entire day lying in bed, with intermittent trips to the bathroom. Thank God my husband was home that day because I would not have been able to take care of my children. At first I was bummed because I had the entire day to myself to lie in bed and couldn’t even enjoy it because I was so sick. I was so nauseous I couldn’t even really sleep, so I just lied there and listened to my family downstairs. I could hear my kids fighting on occasion and my husband getting annoyed with them. But I also heard lots of laughter, my husband reading countless books to them, playing games, and making them lunch and dinner. Every once in awhile my son would yell up the stairs, “You ok up there?” I would always say yes even though I clearly wasn’t. I enjoyed listening to them so much for several reasons. First, it was incredibly rewarding to me to know I have a husband who can take care of me and the kids and who does such a good job of it. He never resorted to sticking the kids in front of the television or calling someone else to come over and take the load off. He was fantastic with them and I was proud of him and happy for our children. They had such a great time with their dad. I’ve always known what a good dad he was, but on this day I was able to really listen to him with the children. The other great thing about the day was to see how much my children love and worry about me. They were genuinely concerned and they lavished me with hugs and kisses. I felt so loved! I learned on this day of being so sick how many blessings I really have. I often get caught up in what’s missing from my life – the perfect house (our house is in remodel hell), a great career that lets me be with my family whenever I want and still make a ton of money, the perfect body. When you are physically well, all those things seem important. Only on a day when I felt like dying in my bed could I really hear the beautiful music of my life.
There will of course be many days in my future when I will not be able to hear the beauty in the pitter patter of little footsteps, or the shrieks that my daughter is famous for. The tears and whining will sound like fingernails on a chalkboard and the only drum I will notice will be from my pounding headache. However, one day, when I am old and wrinkly, my house will be too quiet and I will long for days of noise and chaos. In the meantime, I hope I can look back at my sick day and remember how much I enjoyed listening to it from a distance, and remember how lucky I am to be smack dab in the middle of it every single day.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
December 16, 2009
Today I would like to announce some news – I am pregnant with my third child and due in July of 2010! I am about 9 weeks at this point and I was able to see the baby about a week ago – the little heartbeat fluttering rapidly. I hesitated whether to post my news on the blog now or until I passed the three month mark, but have decided to do it now because I want to share my journey with my readers no matter what path I may go down. Don’t worry – I won’t be logging every detail of my pregnancy, only things that are relative to testing the power of positive thinking.
I would, however, like to share a little more information about how this pregnancy came to be. As you all know I have two children and this will be my third (and last). I have struggled for a very long time in deciding whether or not to have a third child. I came from a family with two girls and always wanted a little larger family. Three seemed like the perfect number. But I worried about taking care of three small children, being able to afford them, etc. At one point this past year I was even trying to let the notion of having three children go, but it just kept coming back to me. After my son was born I knew that someone else was missing in our family. I knew we would have more children. After my daughter was born I still couldn’t shake the feeling that our family was not complete and someone was missing. Even as I tried to tell myself in a rational, logical way that we were fine with two kids, my heart just was not listening. When I went to see the ultrasound last week and saw my baby I had a profound sense of peace and I just looked at this baby and thought – I always knew you would come. Even though I am at the beginning of my pregnancy, I feel peaceful about our new addition and excited to welcome him/her into the world. I know that our family will be complete after this. My heart no longer aches for more.
I share this story because I think that sometimes we have such strong feelings in our lives, and perhaps that voice we hear is a higher power trying to guide us in the right direction. I don’t want these feelings to be confused with simple wants or temporary ideas that run through our heads. I have felt like someone was missing for a long time and I could never shake the feeling. I could not ignore it and I could not rationalize it away. Once I accepted my feelings and my path I actually began to feel free and peace settled within me. I think it’s important to listen to our hearts sometimes, especially when they tell us the same thing over and over again, and I am so grateful and happy to be adding to my beautiful family.
This entire experience has made me think more about spirituality. I have struggled with the concept of religion for a long time. I don’t want to offend anyone who is religious, it’s just for me personally I don’t understand how we have so many different religions and all of them claim to be the right way to go, and yet, in my mind, many of them seem so judgmental. I do, however, strongly believe in a higher power and pray on a regular basis. I feel a strong connection to something larger than myself. Sometimes I feel the pressure to define this connection, but I’m learning there is no need for it. My experience in the decision to have a third baby was not something I could explain to others. It was simply a powerful feeling I could not shake and I felt like I was being guided by something stronger than myself. I am feeling the need to be even more connected to my spiritual side. I think that something is missing from our lives when we don’t have any sense of peace or order in the world. The world is a confusing place and things often happen which we don’t understand. That is why I think every person should find some way to connect with a larger power or find a way to quiet their thoughts. Many people meditate, others pray, but whatever you do it must feel authentic to you. In order to live a life which is peaceful and positive, we must find a way to quiet our minds and listen to the very deepest part of our hearts that our guiding us. No matter how hard my new adventure will be, I know it is exactly where I am supposed to be and I will forever be happy that I listened to my heart. What is your heart telling you?
I would, however, like to share a little more information about how this pregnancy came to be. As you all know I have two children and this will be my third (and last). I have struggled for a very long time in deciding whether or not to have a third child. I came from a family with two girls and always wanted a little larger family. Three seemed like the perfect number. But I worried about taking care of three small children, being able to afford them, etc. At one point this past year I was even trying to let the notion of having three children go, but it just kept coming back to me. After my son was born I knew that someone else was missing in our family. I knew we would have more children. After my daughter was born I still couldn’t shake the feeling that our family was not complete and someone was missing. Even as I tried to tell myself in a rational, logical way that we were fine with two kids, my heart just was not listening. When I went to see the ultrasound last week and saw my baby I had a profound sense of peace and I just looked at this baby and thought – I always knew you would come. Even though I am at the beginning of my pregnancy, I feel peaceful about our new addition and excited to welcome him/her into the world. I know that our family will be complete after this. My heart no longer aches for more.
I share this story because I think that sometimes we have such strong feelings in our lives, and perhaps that voice we hear is a higher power trying to guide us in the right direction. I don’t want these feelings to be confused with simple wants or temporary ideas that run through our heads. I have felt like someone was missing for a long time and I could never shake the feeling. I could not ignore it and I could not rationalize it away. Once I accepted my feelings and my path I actually began to feel free and peace settled within me. I think it’s important to listen to our hearts sometimes, especially when they tell us the same thing over and over again, and I am so grateful and happy to be adding to my beautiful family.
This entire experience has made me think more about spirituality. I have struggled with the concept of religion for a long time. I don’t want to offend anyone who is religious, it’s just for me personally I don’t understand how we have so many different religions and all of them claim to be the right way to go, and yet, in my mind, many of them seem so judgmental. I do, however, strongly believe in a higher power and pray on a regular basis. I feel a strong connection to something larger than myself. Sometimes I feel the pressure to define this connection, but I’m learning there is no need for it. My experience in the decision to have a third baby was not something I could explain to others. It was simply a powerful feeling I could not shake and I felt like I was being guided by something stronger than myself. I am feeling the need to be even more connected to my spiritual side. I think that something is missing from our lives when we don’t have any sense of peace or order in the world. The world is a confusing place and things often happen which we don’t understand. That is why I think every person should find some way to connect with a larger power or find a way to quiet their thoughts. Many people meditate, others pray, but whatever you do it must feel authentic to you. In order to live a life which is peaceful and positive, we must find a way to quiet our minds and listen to the very deepest part of our hearts that our guiding us. No matter how hard my new adventure will be, I know it is exactly where I am supposed to be and I will forever be happy that I listened to my heart. What is your heart telling you?
Monday, December 14, 2009
December 14, 2009
The other night my husband and I were watching Barbara Walter’s special The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009. There were a wide range of people on there, but one in particular, Jenny Sanford, caught my attention. Jenny Sanford is the wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, who mysteriously “went missing” earlier this year, only to be “found” having an affair with his mistress in Argentina. Walters picked Sanford because she is one of the only political wives to not stand beside her husband or stay with him. She has filed for divorce. The couple has four boys together.
So why is such a depressing story showing up in a positive thinking blog? Well, because I was impressed with the way she is handling the situation and the dignity and positive light she is seeking to find. You could tell from the interview that she was deeply hurt by the situation, but you could also see hope in her eyes. Sanford told Walters that “his actions hurt me, and they caused consequences for me, but they don’t in any way take away my own self-esteem…They reflect poorly on him.” She goes on to say that she forgives him but “forgetting is a different story.” Sanford feels that it is “one thing to forgive adultery; it’s another thing to condone it.” And I guess this is what is most fascinating to me. I am incredibly impressed that she can forgive her husband. I don’t know if I could ever do that. I am more impressed that her forgiveness does not mean staying with him or condoning his behavior, especially in light of the fact that they have four boys. I think it’s incredibly important to forgive, but I also think it’s important to not allow someone to walk all over you, embarrass you and disrespect your marriage. I admire her for showing her sons that she forgives their father but at the same time has an enormous amount of self-respect. She is also showing them that there are consequences for your actions.
We all have someone or something in our lives that we need to forgive. It’s important in moving forward and not building resentment and living off of anger. The December 2009 issue of Good Housekeeping has an article about the 7 Steps to Forgiveness and I wanted to highlight a couple of the steps. The first step is allowing yourself to feel anger. I think this is such an important step because many people associate forgiveness with pushing your feelings aside. In the article psychologist Julie Exline, Ph.D., says “forgiveness is not about being a doormat. Feeling safe and empowered is key.” Another step is recalling a time when you hurt someone and needed someone to forgive you. It gives you a little empathy. The fifth step is to remind yourself that forgiveness is a gift to yourself. I think this might be the most important step because when we hold on to anger and resentment it eats away at our bodies and makes us weak. It harms us much more than the person that hurt us. Forgiveness allows us to heal.
As Jenny Sanford knows all too well, the people we love the most have the most power to hurt us. That’s why forgiveness can be so difficult – we often can’t understand why they are hurting us. I have had moments in my life where forgiveness has been difficult but necessary. Sometimes it takes a couple of years to forgive someone. Everyone’s path to forgiveness is different. The key is to somehow get to that place of peace and move on with your life. I have had the opportunity to forgive in my life and I can honestly say that my life is twice as good for it.
So why is such a depressing story showing up in a positive thinking blog? Well, because I was impressed with the way she is handling the situation and the dignity and positive light she is seeking to find. You could tell from the interview that she was deeply hurt by the situation, but you could also see hope in her eyes. Sanford told Walters that “his actions hurt me, and they caused consequences for me, but they don’t in any way take away my own self-esteem…They reflect poorly on him.” She goes on to say that she forgives him but “forgetting is a different story.” Sanford feels that it is “one thing to forgive adultery; it’s another thing to condone it.” And I guess this is what is most fascinating to me. I am incredibly impressed that she can forgive her husband. I don’t know if I could ever do that. I am more impressed that her forgiveness does not mean staying with him or condoning his behavior, especially in light of the fact that they have four boys. I think it’s incredibly important to forgive, but I also think it’s important to not allow someone to walk all over you, embarrass you and disrespect your marriage. I admire her for showing her sons that she forgives their father but at the same time has an enormous amount of self-respect. She is also showing them that there are consequences for your actions.
We all have someone or something in our lives that we need to forgive. It’s important in moving forward and not building resentment and living off of anger. The December 2009 issue of Good Housekeeping has an article about the 7 Steps to Forgiveness and I wanted to highlight a couple of the steps. The first step is allowing yourself to feel anger. I think this is such an important step because many people associate forgiveness with pushing your feelings aside. In the article psychologist Julie Exline, Ph.D., says “forgiveness is not about being a doormat. Feeling safe and empowered is key.” Another step is recalling a time when you hurt someone and needed someone to forgive you. It gives you a little empathy. The fifth step is to remind yourself that forgiveness is a gift to yourself. I think this might be the most important step because when we hold on to anger and resentment it eats away at our bodies and makes us weak. It harms us much more than the person that hurt us. Forgiveness allows us to heal.
As Jenny Sanford knows all too well, the people we love the most have the most power to hurt us. That’s why forgiveness can be so difficult – we often can’t understand why they are hurting us. I have had moments in my life where forgiveness has been difficult but necessary. Sometimes it takes a couple of years to forgive someone. Everyone’s path to forgiveness is different. The key is to somehow get to that place of peace and move on with your life. I have had the opportunity to forgive in my life and I can honestly say that my life is twice as good for it.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
December 10, 2009
I have come across several interesting factoids, if you will, about living positive. I thought I would put them all together for you, with a few added words of my own, in hopes that they will inspire and provoke meaningful thought. Let me know what you think!
• According to University of Michigan researchers, the life expectancy of Americans increased by 6.2 years during the Great Depression. They note that part of this was due to not having money to buy cigarettes or alcohol. I can’t help but think it might have had a little to do with people not looking to outward sources for happiness, material items, but having to realize the importance of family and simple things, like food on the table, a card game with friends, etc. While the Great Depression was horrible in many ways, I think it also established some core values that are missing from today’s society. Basics were important and people didn’t think Starbucks was a necessity. I think it’s interesting that one of the “worst periods in American history” actually increased American’s life expectancy.
(Information obtained from Oprah Magazine – January 2010 issue)
• In the 2010 issue of Glamour magazine, Laura Beil writes about a simple and easy way to get healthy in the New Year. She notes that “in a recent study, scientists found that forgiving types have less depression and lower total cholesterol than those that let resentment fester.” Turns out the best thing we can do for our health is to forgive someone. Who knew it was so easy? Or is it? Forgiveness is often the most difficult thing because we feel like forgiving is saying that what was done to us is ok. Forgiveness is about our own personal happiness and health, and forgiving someone does not condone their behavior. I will write more on this subject later, but take a moment to think about any grudges or frustrations you might be holding onto. It’s hurting you more than the person you are mad at!
• Many people suffer from chronic pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc. It has been found that women who attend pain management/education programs, which teaches patients how to control and prevent their pain, get up to 80% more relief than they do with prescription medications. I find this fascinating because we are a society that instantly turns to drugs to fix whatever ails us, and yet 80% more relief comes from changing thought patterns, learning how to relax, and even exercise. The mind body connection is powerful and our thoughts play a huge role in how our body responds to our circumstances!
(Information obtained from Woman’s World Magazine – 12/14/09 issue)
• Any of you out there tired a lot? Do you have difficulty sleeping? It turns out that a positive attitude and feeling gratitude in your life can improve your sleep. Researchers at the University of Manchester, England, discovered that those that are happiest and have the most gratitude sleep longer and better than their more negative and unappreciative counterparts. So, instead of watching the news or wallowing in the day’s events that didn’t go so well, takes a few moments to think about or write down what you are grateful for. You will sleep better, which surely will put you in a better mood the next day!
(Information obtained from Good Housekeeping – November 2009 issue)
Just a few things to consider about the effects of positive thinking. It’s amazing how powerful our thoughts can be!
• According to University of Michigan researchers, the life expectancy of Americans increased by 6.2 years during the Great Depression. They note that part of this was due to not having money to buy cigarettes or alcohol. I can’t help but think it might have had a little to do with people not looking to outward sources for happiness, material items, but having to realize the importance of family and simple things, like food on the table, a card game with friends, etc. While the Great Depression was horrible in many ways, I think it also established some core values that are missing from today’s society. Basics were important and people didn’t think Starbucks was a necessity. I think it’s interesting that one of the “worst periods in American history” actually increased American’s life expectancy.
(Information obtained from Oprah Magazine – January 2010 issue)
• In the 2010 issue of Glamour magazine, Laura Beil writes about a simple and easy way to get healthy in the New Year. She notes that “in a recent study, scientists found that forgiving types have less depression and lower total cholesterol than those that let resentment fester.” Turns out the best thing we can do for our health is to forgive someone. Who knew it was so easy? Or is it? Forgiveness is often the most difficult thing because we feel like forgiving is saying that what was done to us is ok. Forgiveness is about our own personal happiness and health, and forgiving someone does not condone their behavior. I will write more on this subject later, but take a moment to think about any grudges or frustrations you might be holding onto. It’s hurting you more than the person you are mad at!
• Many people suffer from chronic pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc. It has been found that women who attend pain management/education programs, which teaches patients how to control and prevent their pain, get up to 80% more relief than they do with prescription medications. I find this fascinating because we are a society that instantly turns to drugs to fix whatever ails us, and yet 80% more relief comes from changing thought patterns, learning how to relax, and even exercise. The mind body connection is powerful and our thoughts play a huge role in how our body responds to our circumstances!
(Information obtained from Woman’s World Magazine – 12/14/09 issue)
• Any of you out there tired a lot? Do you have difficulty sleeping? It turns out that a positive attitude and feeling gratitude in your life can improve your sleep. Researchers at the University of Manchester, England, discovered that those that are happiest and have the most gratitude sleep longer and better than their more negative and unappreciative counterparts. So, instead of watching the news or wallowing in the day’s events that didn’t go so well, takes a few moments to think about or write down what you are grateful for. You will sleep better, which surely will put you in a better mood the next day!
(Information obtained from Good Housekeeping – November 2009 issue)
Just a few things to consider about the effects of positive thinking. It’s amazing how powerful our thoughts can be!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
December 8, 2009
I am feeling pretty upbeat today and thought I would have a little fun with positive thinking. Yesterday we got our first big snow of the season, about a foot, and it is beautiful! It does of course wreak havoc on anyone having to drive in it, but it’s early in the morning and the moonlight is glistening off the blanket of snow in my yard. You could think of a lot of negative things about the snow – hard to get to work, the kids are stuck inside, and it’s really, really cold! But there are so many better ways to look at it. I love how the snow makes my house look so beautiful. It covers up any imperfections (we bought a fixer upper). Yesterday when it was snowing my husband and I sat inside and played games, played with our daughter (our son is visiting his grandparents), and read books. We also ate lots of yummy snacks! We had an appointment in the morning, but once we got home we stayed there and just let the snow envelope our home. I think the best part about the snow is it forces you to slow down. You are more likely to make dinner at home and bake some goodies instead of going out. Television gets old quick, so you can pull out the board games and read with your children. Even if you have to go out into it, you are forced to drive slower, be more courteous and focus on what you are doing. I think its nature’s way of giving us a break from our hectic lives, or at least that’s what I enjoy about it.
Sometimes the weather gets really bad where I live and the schools close down. We call these snow days and the kids are always thrilled. They can go skiing or sledding, or whatever their hearts desire. While working hard is important, and we must be responsible in our jobs, I think it’s equally important for adults to enjoy an occasional snow day too! Psychologist Kathleen Nickerson, Ph.D., says, “How you choose to spend a snow day shows the activities you’re longing to participate in but rarely have time for.” When I was a kid I would spend my snow days sledding, drinking hot chocolate and watching movies. I never once thought about my day being wasted or what I was missing out on. Adults tend to worry so much they forget to enjoy the moment at hand. Kids always live in the moment and are much happier for it. What would you do with a snow day? Perhaps you don’t live by snow, or can’t take an entire day off work, but I encourage you to book one on your calendar. Can you take a half day off work and curl up on the couch in your pajamas watching movies and nibbling on popcorn? Can you push aside your weekend chores and take your kids sledding? Think about what activities you would love to do if you only had the time, and then make the time! Schedule it, plan it, and enjoy it! It’s good for the soul to take a little time to do something entirely pleasurable. I guarantee it will change your frame of mind.
Sometimes the weather gets really bad where I live and the schools close down. We call these snow days and the kids are always thrilled. They can go skiing or sledding, or whatever their hearts desire. While working hard is important, and we must be responsible in our jobs, I think it’s equally important for adults to enjoy an occasional snow day too! Psychologist Kathleen Nickerson, Ph.D., says, “How you choose to spend a snow day shows the activities you’re longing to participate in but rarely have time for.” When I was a kid I would spend my snow days sledding, drinking hot chocolate and watching movies. I never once thought about my day being wasted or what I was missing out on. Adults tend to worry so much they forget to enjoy the moment at hand. Kids always live in the moment and are much happier for it. What would you do with a snow day? Perhaps you don’t live by snow, or can’t take an entire day off work, but I encourage you to book one on your calendar. Can you take a half day off work and curl up on the couch in your pajamas watching movies and nibbling on popcorn? Can you push aside your weekend chores and take your kids sledding? Think about what activities you would love to do if you only had the time, and then make the time! Schedule it, plan it, and enjoy it! It’s good for the soul to take a little time to do something entirely pleasurable. I guarantee it will change your frame of mind.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
December 3, 2009
The newspaper, or any news media for that matter, has never really been known for oozing positive stories – quite the opposite, in fact. There are the occasional lighthearted stories, but they are either posted somewhere in the back of the paper or in the last half hour of the show when everyone has gone to work. My husband has always liked the sports page of the paper, mostly because he’s an athlete and sports fan, but also because “it’s the one place where the images are usually more positive.” It seems, however, that negativity is creeping into these pages as well. With the recent confessions of Tiger Woods and his “transgressions” in his marriage, to the countless baseball players using steroids, it’s all a bit too depressing for me.
I guess I was really struck this week by the events that happened with Tiger Woods. Not so much because of him in particular, but just because these types of occurrences seem to be happening on a more regular basis. You see a sports figure, or any other celebrity for that matter, and it seems like they have everything. But do they really? From the outside, Tiger Woods appears to have it all – he is a multi-millionaire, gets to play golf for a living, is married to a Swedish model, and has two beautiful children. What’s not to envy? And yet, somehow, that’s not enough for him. And it’s funny because the public is so surprised that such a quiet force in golf has made such a loud blunder.
Why are we so surprised though? Well, for one, we think he has it all and can’t imagine how he could possibly be unhappy with his life. Why does a man need to cheat on his gorgeous model wife? I think this story clearly illustrates that money doesn’t make you happy. Money is of course necessary, can give you a great deal of freedom and can significantly reduce stress in life. But, just money itself does not make one happy. It does not provide for a happy marriage or make you a good parent. Many people believe that buying their children another X-box game or showering them with gifts is what they want. Of course they would like those things, but kids are really searching for your love and time and would never want material items over your attention. My kids love their toys but if I say, “Let’s read some books,” they are rushing over to spend time with me. My point being – I don’t need money to have a good relationship with my children or my husband. Nobody needs money for these things, so we shouldn’t believe that just because people we see in the media that “have it all” really do. They may have money or fame but that is no guarantee of a happy home.
The second reason we are so surprised is because we elevate people to unnatural levels of fame. We are amazed with Tiger Woods because we can’t believe what amazing hand eye coordination he possesses. We go crazy over music legends and sports figures because they have talents that entertain us. What is unfortunate to me in this world is how we judge a person solely on their talents and abilities, and not on their character. Perhaps that is because people with true character are not usually looking for fame or the limelight. They quietly go through their days being the good people they are and the media does not take notice of that because it’s boring. I guess my entire point here is that while we can still admire and enjoy the entertainment factor celebrities bring to us, we need to stop being so surprised by their transgressions (nor should we excuse them). Instead, we need to simply admire them for their talent, remember they are a form of entertainment, and start opening up our eyes to those quiet everyday heroes that are present in our lives on a daily basis. Positive images and people need not come from the media (although they occasionally do). Instead we should be looking at the people around us – the couple who has been married for 25 years and is happy and loyal – the teacher who gives countless hours to kids because he knows they need it – the women’s shelter volunteer who helps a woman and her child break a cycle. Whose character do you admire? What positive effect can they have on your life?
I guess I was really struck this week by the events that happened with Tiger Woods. Not so much because of him in particular, but just because these types of occurrences seem to be happening on a more regular basis. You see a sports figure, or any other celebrity for that matter, and it seems like they have everything. But do they really? From the outside, Tiger Woods appears to have it all – he is a multi-millionaire, gets to play golf for a living, is married to a Swedish model, and has two beautiful children. What’s not to envy? And yet, somehow, that’s not enough for him. And it’s funny because the public is so surprised that such a quiet force in golf has made such a loud blunder.
Why are we so surprised though? Well, for one, we think he has it all and can’t imagine how he could possibly be unhappy with his life. Why does a man need to cheat on his gorgeous model wife? I think this story clearly illustrates that money doesn’t make you happy. Money is of course necessary, can give you a great deal of freedom and can significantly reduce stress in life. But, just money itself does not make one happy. It does not provide for a happy marriage or make you a good parent. Many people believe that buying their children another X-box game or showering them with gifts is what they want. Of course they would like those things, but kids are really searching for your love and time and would never want material items over your attention. My kids love their toys but if I say, “Let’s read some books,” they are rushing over to spend time with me. My point being – I don’t need money to have a good relationship with my children or my husband. Nobody needs money for these things, so we shouldn’t believe that just because people we see in the media that “have it all” really do. They may have money or fame but that is no guarantee of a happy home.
The second reason we are so surprised is because we elevate people to unnatural levels of fame. We are amazed with Tiger Woods because we can’t believe what amazing hand eye coordination he possesses. We go crazy over music legends and sports figures because they have talents that entertain us. What is unfortunate to me in this world is how we judge a person solely on their talents and abilities, and not on their character. Perhaps that is because people with true character are not usually looking for fame or the limelight. They quietly go through their days being the good people they are and the media does not take notice of that because it’s boring. I guess my entire point here is that while we can still admire and enjoy the entertainment factor celebrities bring to us, we need to stop being so surprised by their transgressions (nor should we excuse them). Instead, we need to simply admire them for their talent, remember they are a form of entertainment, and start opening up our eyes to those quiet everyday heroes that are present in our lives on a daily basis. Positive images and people need not come from the media (although they occasionally do). Instead we should be looking at the people around us – the couple who has been married for 25 years and is happy and loyal – the teacher who gives countless hours to kids because he knows they need it – the women’s shelter volunteer who helps a woman and her child break a cycle. Whose character do you admire? What positive effect can they have on your life?
Monday, November 30, 2009
November 30, 2009
Affirmation: I trust myself
Hello everyone! I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday. I was blessed to spend time with my family and also to celebrate my daughter’s second birthday. My husband was off for most of the week and we got to spend a lot of time together. It’s been such a relaxing few days and I am grateful.
Now it’s back to work for me. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my future the last few days. I tend to reflect when I have some down time. I noticed when I was doing this my insecurities and fears about the future would creep in a little too often. It’s always the…What if this doesn’t happen? Or…What if I can’t do that? Or…What if something becomes out of my control? I’ve always been a bit of a worry wart. I think I inherited it…my mom is a worrier, her dad was a worrier. So, I can’t really help the genetic ability to worry like nobody’s business. If you ever need someone to worry for you, just give me a call! In all seriousness, the worrying is not good for me. Once you start down that path your mind can take you to deep, dark places. For example, my husband and I have been together for 15 years (married for 12), but when we first started dating I was so in love with him that I was worried that he would leave me, or find someone better, or things wouldn’t work out. I was very young at the time, but my worries would sometimes keep me up at night. At that time I didn’t trust our love or the process of building our lives together. I was insecure. Now, 15 years later, and two beautiful children, I am still just as much in love with him, if not more, but I never worry that things won’t work out. They already have! Every day I get to spend with him and we get to raise our children together is a bonus. Yes, I hope to grow old together, but I don’t worry that it won’t happen. I just know it will. I trust him, I trust myself, and I trust what we have built together.
I would love to have this same confidence in other areas of my life. But I often find myself not trusting. Louise L. Hay often says that we must “trust the process of life.” What does she mean exactly? Well, I think she means we must understand that the ups and downs and highs and lows are all essential to building our lives. We can’t just sail through the good and never experience the bad. The bad often teaches us more than the good anyway, and often times guides us in amazing directions we never would have otherwise thought of. When I quit my job over four years ago to be a stay home mom I was thrilled at first. Then I started doubting my decision. Did I make a good career move? Can I really handle the hard work of a stay home mom? To be honest, I struggled with this decision for quite some time. I never regretted the moments with my child, but I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I did not trust my new path. I would say in the last year I have made peace with my decision. I have fully adapted to my new life and am embarking on new and exciting adventures. Things I could never have done if I had stayed working. Plus, and most importantly, I have had the privilege of watching my children grow and learn. I am incredibly grateful for the path I am on.
As you can see from my examples, it is not always easy to trust our lives and where we are headed. Insecurities and worries invade our heads from time to time (or more often for worry warts). Hay reminds us, “We trust that our next breath is there. Let’s begin to trust that other things will be there for us, also.” Ask yourself today – What can I have a little more faith in? Take some time to trust the process of life!
Hello everyone! I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday. I was blessed to spend time with my family and also to celebrate my daughter’s second birthday. My husband was off for most of the week and we got to spend a lot of time together. It’s been such a relaxing few days and I am grateful.
Now it’s back to work for me. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my future the last few days. I tend to reflect when I have some down time. I noticed when I was doing this my insecurities and fears about the future would creep in a little too often. It’s always the…What if this doesn’t happen? Or…What if I can’t do that? Or…What if something becomes out of my control? I’ve always been a bit of a worry wart. I think I inherited it…my mom is a worrier, her dad was a worrier. So, I can’t really help the genetic ability to worry like nobody’s business. If you ever need someone to worry for you, just give me a call! In all seriousness, the worrying is not good for me. Once you start down that path your mind can take you to deep, dark places. For example, my husband and I have been together for 15 years (married for 12), but when we first started dating I was so in love with him that I was worried that he would leave me, or find someone better, or things wouldn’t work out. I was very young at the time, but my worries would sometimes keep me up at night. At that time I didn’t trust our love or the process of building our lives together. I was insecure. Now, 15 years later, and two beautiful children, I am still just as much in love with him, if not more, but I never worry that things won’t work out. They already have! Every day I get to spend with him and we get to raise our children together is a bonus. Yes, I hope to grow old together, but I don’t worry that it won’t happen. I just know it will. I trust him, I trust myself, and I trust what we have built together.
I would love to have this same confidence in other areas of my life. But I often find myself not trusting. Louise L. Hay often says that we must “trust the process of life.” What does she mean exactly? Well, I think she means we must understand that the ups and downs and highs and lows are all essential to building our lives. We can’t just sail through the good and never experience the bad. The bad often teaches us more than the good anyway, and often times guides us in amazing directions we never would have otherwise thought of. When I quit my job over four years ago to be a stay home mom I was thrilled at first. Then I started doubting my decision. Did I make a good career move? Can I really handle the hard work of a stay home mom? To be honest, I struggled with this decision for quite some time. I never regretted the moments with my child, but I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I did not trust my new path. I would say in the last year I have made peace with my decision. I have fully adapted to my new life and am embarking on new and exciting adventures. Things I could never have done if I had stayed working. Plus, and most importantly, I have had the privilege of watching my children grow and learn. I am incredibly grateful for the path I am on.
As you can see from my examples, it is not always easy to trust our lives and where we are headed. Insecurities and worries invade our heads from time to time (or more often for worry warts). Hay reminds us, “We trust that our next breath is there. Let’s begin to trust that other things will be there for us, also.” Ask yourself today – What can I have a little more faith in? Take some time to trust the process of life!
Monday, November 23, 2009
November 23, 2009
Two Month Update
It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two months since I began this project. I am still looking forward to writing as many mornings as I can steal away, and I am constantly inspired. Thanks to all my friends and followers! In my very first post I mentioned one of my goals was to wake up and be excited about the day ahead. I had felt that I was dragging through my days. While there are still days where I am dragging, I am finding myself a little bit more excited and alive. I am certainly enjoying my time with my children more. One thing I have found that is extremely helpful in being positive is walking and eating healthy. It’s hard to be positive when you are tired and out of sorts, so I have learned the importance of daily exercise and balanced meals. It’s amazing how much those two things affect your mood. I think that writing on a regular basis has also been good for my soul. I can let out my feelings and thoughts in a constructive manner, and in doing so, I think I have already significantly elevated my happiness level.
While I have been writing, reading books and trying to come up ideas to push my writing career to the next level (one that I actually get paid to do); I have yet to accomplish anything significant. I still don’t think I have given 100% in this area. I tell myself that I have small children and it’s hard to find the time, which is partly true, but I also know this is a convenient excuse. For some reason I am still hesitating. I think it’s partly because I have never been really good at giving myself deadlines. I do really well when other people give me deadlines, but when I am left to my own devices I tend to procrastinate. While it certainly is harder to have a writing career with small children, it is not impossible. J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter in a coffee shop with her baby in tow. She wanted it – she made it happen. I have to want it enough. Dreams are easy – making them come true is hard!
I also have to get organized. In fact, that’s my biggest goal for the next month. I have always been pretty laid back and just go with the flow but I think that’s actually detrimental to me now, especially with small children. I need to get organized, get on a better schedule and make my life flow. I think that in doing so I will be able to schedule time for me to work and follow my dreams. I tend to think of the million other things I have to do when I’m writing and get easily distracted. If I am organized and have a time and a place for everything I think it will be much easier for me to sit down and work on my writing without distractions. (At least I hope this will be the case.) I went out and bought a day organizer and am setting a daily schedule for myself.
I am determined to continue to work on my weaknesses, pull from my strengths and make my dreams come true. I will not give up! Being positive and changing my thought patterns has been more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. But I can already see some amazing changes and it is well worth the ride!
It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two months since I began this project. I am still looking forward to writing as many mornings as I can steal away, and I am constantly inspired. Thanks to all my friends and followers! In my very first post I mentioned one of my goals was to wake up and be excited about the day ahead. I had felt that I was dragging through my days. While there are still days where I am dragging, I am finding myself a little bit more excited and alive. I am certainly enjoying my time with my children more. One thing I have found that is extremely helpful in being positive is walking and eating healthy. It’s hard to be positive when you are tired and out of sorts, so I have learned the importance of daily exercise and balanced meals. It’s amazing how much those two things affect your mood. I think that writing on a regular basis has also been good for my soul. I can let out my feelings and thoughts in a constructive manner, and in doing so, I think I have already significantly elevated my happiness level.
While I have been writing, reading books and trying to come up ideas to push my writing career to the next level (one that I actually get paid to do); I have yet to accomplish anything significant. I still don’t think I have given 100% in this area. I tell myself that I have small children and it’s hard to find the time, which is partly true, but I also know this is a convenient excuse. For some reason I am still hesitating. I think it’s partly because I have never been really good at giving myself deadlines. I do really well when other people give me deadlines, but when I am left to my own devices I tend to procrastinate. While it certainly is harder to have a writing career with small children, it is not impossible. J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter in a coffee shop with her baby in tow. She wanted it – she made it happen. I have to want it enough. Dreams are easy – making them come true is hard!
I also have to get organized. In fact, that’s my biggest goal for the next month. I have always been pretty laid back and just go with the flow but I think that’s actually detrimental to me now, especially with small children. I need to get organized, get on a better schedule and make my life flow. I think that in doing so I will be able to schedule time for me to work and follow my dreams. I tend to think of the million other things I have to do when I’m writing and get easily distracted. If I am organized and have a time and a place for everything I think it will be much easier for me to sit down and work on my writing without distractions. (At least I hope this will be the case.) I went out and bought a day organizer and am setting a daily schedule for myself.
I am determined to continue to work on my weaknesses, pull from my strengths and make my dreams come true. I will not give up! Being positive and changing my thought patterns has been more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. But I can already see some amazing changes and it is well worth the ride!
Friday, November 20, 2009
November 20, 2009
I have been out of the loop this week because my oldest child has been sick. I’ve been dealing with doctors, fevers and sleepless nights. I wanted to check in and write something positive and inspiring, but I have to be honest – I am exhausted and the words are not flowing to me. I woke up early this morning to have a few moments to write this, thinking that my children would sleep, only to find little footsteps trailing just behind me. Needless to say I am not in the best place today. So, why am I still writing? Good question! Well, writing is cathartic for me. Just the act of writing makes me calm and puts me in a better place. And, I think it’s important to show, even though I am writing a blog about being positive, I sometimes have my off moments, or days or even weeks. This is a natural part of life. I could have not mentioned my mood or my bad week and just written something. But it would not have been from the heart.
I’ve been thinking this week that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, as well as my daughter’s second birthday. It’s a time of year that inspires people to take a look at everything they are grateful for. I love how Thanksgiving inspires people to count their blessings. It’s been hard to count anything this week, much less blessings, but I certainly do have a lot to be thankful for – beautiful children, remarkable husband, wonderful family, fantastic friends. We often lament on the things in our lives that haven’t gone well, so it’s nice to reflect on what is right in our lives. While being positive about our lives is important, and the point of this project, I think it’s also equally important to look back on those things in our lives that we saw as difficult and trying. Why? Because those things have made us who we are today. The hardest lessons are the ones that we learn the most from. So, in addition to taking a look at those things we are grateful for, let’s take a few moments to look at those things that have made us stronger.
For me, the past four and a half years have contained the most difficult, trying moments of my life. Four and a half years is the amount of time I have been a parent. This past week is not the first time I have been out of sorts, frustrated and generally exhausted. And it certainly won’t be the last. While my days have been filled with many amazing moments, I have also had long days of temper tantrums (theirs and mine), illness, whining and never-ending loads of laundry. Some days I am counting the hours until my children go to bed and I can hear myself think. Four years ago I became a stay home mom and raising my children has been my full time job. I would never trade this job for anything because I am so blessed to be able to raise and watch my children grow. But, it is also the most difficult job I have ever done. Partly because I think I have always had a bit of a lazy streak. I am a natural procrastinator and am pretty laid back about things. Children, however, do not allow you to procrastinate or be lazy. You have to be at the top of your game – if you want to do a good job, that is. There are times when I desperately wish I could go to work for the day. But, at the end of the day, or the end of the bad week, I know that I am a stronger person because of my work as a mom. I am grateful for the depth in character I have received over these past years raising children. I never would have been as resilient if it hadn’t been for my children. The lessons I have learned over the past four and a half years are priceless. Not always easy lessons, but ones that I would never change because they are making me a better person.
As I wrap up this post I am already feeling better. I have worked through my feelings, looked back on the hard times I have encountered, and my children have been content to watch a cartoon for a little while. What more could I ask for? I encourage you to take a few moments to look at those things that have made you a stronger person, and ask yourself why you are grateful for those lessons. It’s a wonderful time of year to give thanks for what we have and what we have learned.
I’ve been thinking this week that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, as well as my daughter’s second birthday. It’s a time of year that inspires people to take a look at everything they are grateful for. I love how Thanksgiving inspires people to count their blessings. It’s been hard to count anything this week, much less blessings, but I certainly do have a lot to be thankful for – beautiful children, remarkable husband, wonderful family, fantastic friends. We often lament on the things in our lives that haven’t gone well, so it’s nice to reflect on what is right in our lives. While being positive about our lives is important, and the point of this project, I think it’s also equally important to look back on those things in our lives that we saw as difficult and trying. Why? Because those things have made us who we are today. The hardest lessons are the ones that we learn the most from. So, in addition to taking a look at those things we are grateful for, let’s take a few moments to look at those things that have made us stronger.
For me, the past four and a half years have contained the most difficult, trying moments of my life. Four and a half years is the amount of time I have been a parent. This past week is not the first time I have been out of sorts, frustrated and generally exhausted. And it certainly won’t be the last. While my days have been filled with many amazing moments, I have also had long days of temper tantrums (theirs and mine), illness, whining and never-ending loads of laundry. Some days I am counting the hours until my children go to bed and I can hear myself think. Four years ago I became a stay home mom and raising my children has been my full time job. I would never trade this job for anything because I am so blessed to be able to raise and watch my children grow. But, it is also the most difficult job I have ever done. Partly because I think I have always had a bit of a lazy streak. I am a natural procrastinator and am pretty laid back about things. Children, however, do not allow you to procrastinate or be lazy. You have to be at the top of your game – if you want to do a good job, that is. There are times when I desperately wish I could go to work for the day. But, at the end of the day, or the end of the bad week, I know that I am a stronger person because of my work as a mom. I am grateful for the depth in character I have received over these past years raising children. I never would have been as resilient if it hadn’t been for my children. The lessons I have learned over the past four and a half years are priceless. Not always easy lessons, but ones that I would never change because they are making me a better person.
As I wrap up this post I am already feeling better. I have worked through my feelings, looked back on the hard times I have encountered, and my children have been content to watch a cartoon for a little while. What more could I ask for? I encourage you to take a few moments to look at those things that have made you a stronger person, and ask yourself why you are grateful for those lessons. It’s a wonderful time of year to give thanks for what we have and what we have learned.
Monday, November 16, 2009
November 16, 2009
The ability to stay in a relationship and/or marriage and remain happy is elusive to many people. Because of such a high divorce rate in our country, and the amount of people who remain in unhappy relationships, marriage is often thought of as an unsuccessful venture. Is it really fruitless or is there a key missing for some people? In the December issue of Oprah magazine there is an article entitled, “How to Make the Romance Last – The truth about what keeps marriages together.” Written by Helen Fisher, PhD, she examines the secrets held by those in happy marriages. I was intrigued by this article for several reasons, but primarily because I consider myself happily married, and have been so for the past 12 years.
The first point Fisher discusses is romantic love. When we first meet someone and fall for them we find ourselves head over heels, over the top “in love,” and feeling like the world is perfect. But how long does this last? Fisher says, “Psychologists maintain that the dizzying feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to – at best – three years.” So, whether one is married or in a long-term relationship, eventually they will find the romantic love fizzling out. Hopefully it is replaced by a deeper more committed love. In a study of couples in their 50s married an average of 21 years, Fisher noted that “Among the older lovers, brain regions associated with anxiety were no longer active; instead, there was activity in the areas associated with calmness.” Essentially, intense romantic love is replaced by a deep peace and consistency in spending their lives with someone.
So, what is the secret to going from intense romantic love to a deeply committed, peaceful, happy love? Fisher says that psychologist Marcel Zenter, PhD, of the University of Geneva, found in a study of 470 couples on compatibility one factor linking them all – “the ability to sustain your ‘positive illusions.’” Fisher believes that men and women who continue to maintain that their partner is attractive, funny, kind, and ideal for them in just about every way remain content with each other. What exactly does this mean? I think I can give you an example. My husband carries a picture of me in his wallet – my high school graduation picture. Right out of high school is when we started dating (15 years ago). My husband still sees me looking the way I do in the picture, despite the passage of time, two children and the stresses that occur with life. While I am certainly not old, I do look quite a bit different now than in the picture – positive illusion. I am certain that he will still be carrying this picture when I am 80 years old. Again, positive illusion - although some may argue dementia at that point. The idea is that he still sees me as beautiful, but more importantly, the person he is meant to be with. And I see him the same way. We have grown up together, so to speak, but the things I saw in him 15 years ago are the same things I see in him now.
I think when marriages fail it is because we were never certain how much we knew the person from the very start. Or, because the things we saw in the person at the start are being overshadowed by things that can’t be looked past. We are told the key to a happy marriage is communication and work. While these items are important, I think the real secret is looking at your partner in a positive light. What have you always loved about them? What will you always love about them? If you are in a relationship where you can’t see the good on a regular basis, it will never endure. The person I married, the core of who he is, has never changed. I love that person! If the little stuff starts taking precedence, than the relationship is bound to spiral downward. I guess it’s all about finding the right person from the start. And once you do, take a snapshot and never forget that image!
The first point Fisher discusses is romantic love. When we first meet someone and fall for them we find ourselves head over heels, over the top “in love,” and feeling like the world is perfect. But how long does this last? Fisher says, “Psychologists maintain that the dizzying feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to – at best – three years.” So, whether one is married or in a long-term relationship, eventually they will find the romantic love fizzling out. Hopefully it is replaced by a deeper more committed love. In a study of couples in their 50s married an average of 21 years, Fisher noted that “Among the older lovers, brain regions associated with anxiety were no longer active; instead, there was activity in the areas associated with calmness.” Essentially, intense romantic love is replaced by a deep peace and consistency in spending their lives with someone.
So, what is the secret to going from intense romantic love to a deeply committed, peaceful, happy love? Fisher says that psychologist Marcel Zenter, PhD, of the University of Geneva, found in a study of 470 couples on compatibility one factor linking them all – “the ability to sustain your ‘positive illusions.’” Fisher believes that men and women who continue to maintain that their partner is attractive, funny, kind, and ideal for them in just about every way remain content with each other. What exactly does this mean? I think I can give you an example. My husband carries a picture of me in his wallet – my high school graduation picture. Right out of high school is when we started dating (15 years ago). My husband still sees me looking the way I do in the picture, despite the passage of time, two children and the stresses that occur with life. While I am certainly not old, I do look quite a bit different now than in the picture – positive illusion. I am certain that he will still be carrying this picture when I am 80 years old. Again, positive illusion - although some may argue dementia at that point. The idea is that he still sees me as beautiful, but more importantly, the person he is meant to be with. And I see him the same way. We have grown up together, so to speak, but the things I saw in him 15 years ago are the same things I see in him now.
I think when marriages fail it is because we were never certain how much we knew the person from the very start. Or, because the things we saw in the person at the start are being overshadowed by things that can’t be looked past. We are told the key to a happy marriage is communication and work. While these items are important, I think the real secret is looking at your partner in a positive light. What have you always loved about them? What will you always love about them? If you are in a relationship where you can’t see the good on a regular basis, it will never endure. The person I married, the core of who he is, has never changed. I love that person! If the little stuff starts taking precedence, than the relationship is bound to spiral downward. I guess it’s all about finding the right person from the start. And once you do, take a snapshot and never forget that image!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
November 12, 2009
Affirmation: My thoughts support and strengthen my immune system
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
One of the issues of the current day that we are all discussing and/or worrying about is H1N1 (aka Swine Flu). A vaccine has been made but is debatable at this point and not everyone is eligible for it. We can take precautionary measures by diligently washing our hands, getting plenty of rest and eating healthy. But I want to talk about using our thoughts as another method of strengthening and supporting our immune system.
Carol Ryff, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, says that there is a link between what’s going on in the brain and the body. She says that “positive people have stronger, more robust, immune systems, which means they can fight off colds, flus, infections and more.” The Mayo Clinic notes that while it is hard to measure happiness, there are several studies that link positive thinking with reduced illness and disease. In an article from the Mayo Clinic staff entitled, “Stress relief from laughter? Yes, no joke,” they affirm that “negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can impact your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. In contrast, positive thoughts actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.”
Have you ever gone through a stressful period of time and then when it was over you got sick? You look forward to some vacation time or a few days off at home and you end up with a cold? Perhaps that’s because stress has weakened our immune system. While it is not entirely possible to avoid all stress, it is possible to change our thoughts on the situation at hand. It is also equally important to make sure that we are eating healthy and getting plenty of rest. It is very difficult to work on our thought patterns or think positively when we are exhausted and undernourished.
We read and hear so much in the news, usually about the deaths or bad reactions to the vaccine, so it’s hard to remain positive about the flu virus. Louise L. Hay reminds us that “the media wants to sell their products, and they dig up the worst scenarios to catch our attention.” I’m not saying that there haven’t been some horrible cases or that we can’t take preventative measures. What I am saying is that reducing our stress and keeping our negative thoughts in check is just as powerful a precautionary measure as any other. Reducing stress and anxiety in our homes and bringing in more laughter and encouragement will also help our children to fight off illness. Our mental health is important to maintain during this flu and cold season. It could be the best defense we have!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
One of the issues of the current day that we are all discussing and/or worrying about is H1N1 (aka Swine Flu). A vaccine has been made but is debatable at this point and not everyone is eligible for it. We can take precautionary measures by diligently washing our hands, getting plenty of rest and eating healthy. But I want to talk about using our thoughts as another method of strengthening and supporting our immune system.
Carol Ryff, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, says that there is a link between what’s going on in the brain and the body. She says that “positive people have stronger, more robust, immune systems, which means they can fight off colds, flus, infections and more.” The Mayo Clinic notes that while it is hard to measure happiness, there are several studies that link positive thinking with reduced illness and disease. In an article from the Mayo Clinic staff entitled, “Stress relief from laughter? Yes, no joke,” they affirm that “negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can impact your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. In contrast, positive thoughts actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.”
Have you ever gone through a stressful period of time and then when it was over you got sick? You look forward to some vacation time or a few days off at home and you end up with a cold? Perhaps that’s because stress has weakened our immune system. While it is not entirely possible to avoid all stress, it is possible to change our thoughts on the situation at hand. It is also equally important to make sure that we are eating healthy and getting plenty of rest. It is very difficult to work on our thought patterns or think positively when we are exhausted and undernourished.
We read and hear so much in the news, usually about the deaths or bad reactions to the vaccine, so it’s hard to remain positive about the flu virus. Louise L. Hay reminds us that “the media wants to sell their products, and they dig up the worst scenarios to catch our attention.” I’m not saying that there haven’t been some horrible cases or that we can’t take preventative measures. What I am saying is that reducing our stress and keeping our negative thoughts in check is just as powerful a precautionary measure as any other. Reducing stress and anxiety in our homes and bringing in more laughter and encouragement will also help our children to fight off illness. Our mental health is important to maintain during this flu and cold season. It could be the best defense we have!
Monday, November 9, 2009
November 9, 2009
Yesterday I had a few hours to myself thanks to my mom and sister. I went to the downtown area where my mom lives and walked into a beautiful bakery. Everything on the shelves looked fantastic and the aromas were intoxicating. There was an older lady, beautifully dressed, eyeing several things and clearly having a hard time making a decision. Her husband was waiting for her and she just couldn’t decide what to pick. She finally decided on a peanut butter cookie. Before she could pay the cashier I handed over the two dollars and said “Have a great day!” I was partaking in the 29 day challenge to give to others. I saw her run to her husband with a big grin on her face – she could hardly believe that I had paid for her cookie.
I wanted to share this story today because I think there is one thing we should all remember about giving to others. This lady clearly had a lot of money. Both she and her husband were dressed very well; she had beautiful shoes and a gorgeous purse. She did not need me to buy her a two dollar cookie. In fact, I guarantee that this woman has a great deal more in her bank account than is floating in mine. It’s not about the money though. It’s about the gesture. I think it’s easy for people to give to those that are less fortunate than we are, and that’s important to do. However, I think it’s also important to do kind things for those that have money simply because it’s kind. I put such a smile on her face and she was incredibly surprised. Again, it was not about the two dollars. Rich people need kind gestures just the same as all the rest of us.
The reason I decided to buy a cookie for this woman had nothing to do with her appearance or ability to pay. I did it because I loved the way she was eyeing the choices like a kid in a toy store. It was such a pleasure to watch her and it was even more of pleasure to see her eyes light up after my kind gesture. I love the idea of giving to others in small ways. I remember how good I felt when someone bought me breakfast and then bought me coffee. But the feeling is even better when you are giving to someone else. I encourage everyone to partake in the giving challenge and to remember that every person can use a lift now and then.
Writing Update
I received a great contact from a friend who has a friend who works for a travel magazine. I sent her an email with some writing samples and a proposal for doing pieces for her. Will keep you posted!
I wanted to share this story today because I think there is one thing we should all remember about giving to others. This lady clearly had a lot of money. Both she and her husband were dressed very well; she had beautiful shoes and a gorgeous purse. She did not need me to buy her a two dollar cookie. In fact, I guarantee that this woman has a great deal more in her bank account than is floating in mine. It’s not about the money though. It’s about the gesture. I think it’s easy for people to give to those that are less fortunate than we are, and that’s important to do. However, I think it’s also important to do kind things for those that have money simply because it’s kind. I put such a smile on her face and she was incredibly surprised. Again, it was not about the two dollars. Rich people need kind gestures just the same as all the rest of us.
The reason I decided to buy a cookie for this woman had nothing to do with her appearance or ability to pay. I did it because I loved the way she was eyeing the choices like a kid in a toy store. It was such a pleasure to watch her and it was even more of pleasure to see her eyes light up after my kind gesture. I love the idea of giving to others in small ways. I remember how good I felt when someone bought me breakfast and then bought me coffee. But the feeling is even better when you are giving to someone else. I encourage everyone to partake in the giving challenge and to remember that every person can use a lift now and then.
Writing Update
I received a great contact from a friend who has a friend who works for a travel magazine. I sent her an email with some writing samples and a proposal for doing pieces for her. Will keep you posted!
Friday, November 6, 2009
November 6, 2009
Affirmation: I am a peaceful traveler.
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
I am thrilled because today I get to fly to Northern California to visit my mom and sister. I always love seeing them and it’s been awhile so I’ve been looking forward to this trip for quite some time. I am however a bit apprehensive because I am flying alone with my 4 year old and 2 year old. Luckily the flight is just over an hour, but it is still a journey with young children. I have packed snacks, toys and new coloring books. But what can I pack to keep my sanity in check?
Louise L. Hay says that throughout the day you should “check on [your] body’s tension level. No matter where [you are] take a moment to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and release any tension.” I tend to be a people pleaser, so my biggest tension when traveling (besides the fear of losing my children in the crowds) is annoying other people. Children tend to be naturally loud and rambunctious when confined with adults in a small space. Today I am going to try something different – I am going to focus on the needs of my children and not worry about those surrounding me. It is not my responsibility to make their trip pleasant. I just need to get my children safely and happily from one destination to another. I will not of course allow them to be rude or scream, etc. I will, however, allow them to be kids, and I think that if I spend my time focusing on them that they will respond well to that. Instead of just trying to “get through” the situation, I want to try to make our time traveling fun. I’m going to enjoy coloring with them and singing songs and reading books. When else can I sit with my children and just play – not having to worry about cleaning the house or answering the phone or paying the bills. It’s actually a gift to get to spend quality one on one time – no interruptions!
The most important thing I can pack today is a positive attitude, a bit of patience and a side of humility. I will take Hay’s advice to “put love into my trip,” and I know that all will be well. Here’s to happy traveling!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
I am thrilled because today I get to fly to Northern California to visit my mom and sister. I always love seeing them and it’s been awhile so I’ve been looking forward to this trip for quite some time. I am however a bit apprehensive because I am flying alone with my 4 year old and 2 year old. Luckily the flight is just over an hour, but it is still a journey with young children. I have packed snacks, toys and new coloring books. But what can I pack to keep my sanity in check?
Louise L. Hay says that throughout the day you should “check on [your] body’s tension level. No matter where [you are] take a moment to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and release any tension.” I tend to be a people pleaser, so my biggest tension when traveling (besides the fear of losing my children in the crowds) is annoying other people. Children tend to be naturally loud and rambunctious when confined with adults in a small space. Today I am going to try something different – I am going to focus on the needs of my children and not worry about those surrounding me. It is not my responsibility to make their trip pleasant. I just need to get my children safely and happily from one destination to another. I will not of course allow them to be rude or scream, etc. I will, however, allow them to be kids, and I think that if I spend my time focusing on them that they will respond well to that. Instead of just trying to “get through” the situation, I want to try to make our time traveling fun. I’m going to enjoy coloring with them and singing songs and reading books. When else can I sit with my children and just play – not having to worry about cleaning the house or answering the phone or paying the bills. It’s actually a gift to get to spend quality one on one time – no interruptions!
The most important thing I can pack today is a positive attitude, a bit of patience and a side of humility. I will take Hay’s advice to “put love into my trip,” and I know that all will be well. Here’s to happy traveling!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November 4, 2009
Last week I gave myself one week to form a first draft of my short romance story for Woman’s World magazine, and I promised that I would update my status. I read through several back issues to get a good grasp on how the story should go, and then…nothing happened. I did not write what I said I would write. I can’t believe I just wrote that statement. But, I want to be honest. So, why did I not complete this task? I actually stayed up late wondering that. I did sit down several times and write notes about how the story should go but nothing ever seemed to pan out for me. I let the thoughts run through my mind as I was washing dishes or folding laundry, and still nothing. I do tend to be a procrastinator, but since I had set this deadline for myself I was really working towards accomplishing this goal.
The day before yesterday one of my friends was asking me about my story progress and what exactly this romance story was. I reminded her that it was just a “cheesy romance story.” Note my choice of the word “cheesy.” I in no way want to disparage anyone who has written one of these stories, I actually have the utmost respect for anyone who writes something and is published, but every time I read one of these I think “this is simple, I can do this.” So, I set out to do it. The problem is that my heart is not in it. Writing a romance is not something I really aspire to do. I’m sure at some point I could do it, but even then it probably wouldn’t be that good because it’s not my passion. I am not passionate about writing a romance story. I am passionate about writing this blog and nonfiction articles and I think that shows in my writing. So, I think I set the wrong goal for myself a week ago. I set out to do something for the wrong reasons. My goals need to be more in tune with my passion in the world of writing instead of things I think I can do or will make me money.
While I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t accomplish a goal I set for myself, I think it’s more important to be honest, understand why I didn’t, and let go of the guilt. Today my goal is to write down a list of goals that are more in tune with what I want to accomplish. One goal that I have already set for myself is by the end of the month to establish a positive thinking newsletter that I can email to anyone who is interested. I will keep you up to date on my progress with that and when it will be available.
This past week I have learned that I can’t just scratch the surface of my goals. I must dig deeper and discover what I am really about and what I want to contribute to the world. I must be honest with myself in order to get to where I want to be. So, instead of simply saying I want to be a writer I need to say: “I am a nonfiction writer.” Non-fiction is my passion. I want to write about travel, parenting, and positive thinking. While I wish that I could have said “I accomplished my goal,” I think I have learned an even more valuable lesson in discovering my true desires and which path I should take. Now, instead of a deadline looming over my head, I am inspired to write as much as possible on the above mentioned topics and see where that takes me. Now that I have figured out what I really want, the road is bound to be less bumpy.
The day before yesterday one of my friends was asking me about my story progress and what exactly this romance story was. I reminded her that it was just a “cheesy romance story.” Note my choice of the word “cheesy.” I in no way want to disparage anyone who has written one of these stories, I actually have the utmost respect for anyone who writes something and is published, but every time I read one of these I think “this is simple, I can do this.” So, I set out to do it. The problem is that my heart is not in it. Writing a romance is not something I really aspire to do. I’m sure at some point I could do it, but even then it probably wouldn’t be that good because it’s not my passion. I am not passionate about writing a romance story. I am passionate about writing this blog and nonfiction articles and I think that shows in my writing. So, I think I set the wrong goal for myself a week ago. I set out to do something for the wrong reasons. My goals need to be more in tune with my passion in the world of writing instead of things I think I can do or will make me money.
While I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t accomplish a goal I set for myself, I think it’s more important to be honest, understand why I didn’t, and let go of the guilt. Today my goal is to write down a list of goals that are more in tune with what I want to accomplish. One goal that I have already set for myself is by the end of the month to establish a positive thinking newsletter that I can email to anyone who is interested. I will keep you up to date on my progress with that and when it will be available.
This past week I have learned that I can’t just scratch the surface of my goals. I must dig deeper and discover what I am really about and what I want to contribute to the world. I must be honest with myself in order to get to where I want to be. So, instead of simply saying I want to be a writer I need to say: “I am a nonfiction writer.” Non-fiction is my passion. I want to write about travel, parenting, and positive thinking. While I wish that I could have said “I accomplished my goal,” I think I have learned an even more valuable lesson in discovering my true desires and which path I should take. Now, instead of a deadline looming over my head, I am inspired to write as much as possible on the above mentioned topics and see where that takes me. Now that I have figured out what I really want, the road is bound to be less bumpy.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
November 1, 2009
Affirmation: I am relaxed and open to the world around me
Yesterday was Halloween and I had the most fabulous time. I have always loved the holiday but it is particularly special when you have small children. My 4 year old son is a pro at trick-or-treating, but my 23 month old daughter was new to the experience. Needless to say, after someone put candy in her bucket for the first time she was a pro. She expertly went to each location, thrilled to have candy repeatedly being dropped in her bucket. It’s kind of funny because you normally tell your children not to approach strangers and certainly not to take candy from them. Unless of course it is Halloween and they are dressed like a witch or a goblin. Then it’s ok.
As I watched my children tonight I realized how innocent they are. They are in awe of the world and open to new experiences. They are yet to be jaded. A certain amount of caution in the world is of course necessary as we grow older. We must learn to be wary of certain people and situations. However, I think many adults go too far and build large fences around themselves in order not to get hurt. And all of us have moments where we are just a bit too uptight. For instance, my daughter wore a beautiful costume last night – a St. Bernard with beautiful tan and white fur. As we were walking to our car to go trick-or-treating I told her, “Don’t get dirty before we go!” I wanted her to stay clean and look adorable. But being dirty is part of the fun, and isn’t a dog usually dirty anyway? My vision of what she should look like was quelling her fun and in this instance it wasn’t worth it. Her feet ended up dirty but her face was shining brightly. Did I really think she wouldn’t look adorable with a little dirt?
Whether we have a large fence around us or just a small one, we should take some time to look over the fence and make sure we are not missing out on something fabulous. Fences keep us safe but they also keep us locked in. There are times when we need to venture out of our comfort zones and go with the flow. We need to not worry about the dirt, or the spilled milk or the extra pieces of candy our children sneak from their Halloween buckets. Life is all about balance. We must keep some things in order and let some things go. I am learning that life is a beautiful experience, even if it is a little messy sometimes. The mess is part of the beauty. What can you let go of today?
Writing Update:
I received a couple of the books from the library that I was waiting for. One is about writing query letters to editors and the other is about writing and publishing creative nonfiction. I am still waiting for the Writer’s Market, which lists all the various publishers and editors. While I wait for that book I am diving into the other books so that I have a good grasp of what I need to do to get ahead.
Yesterday was Halloween and I had the most fabulous time. I have always loved the holiday but it is particularly special when you have small children. My 4 year old son is a pro at trick-or-treating, but my 23 month old daughter was new to the experience. Needless to say, after someone put candy in her bucket for the first time she was a pro. She expertly went to each location, thrilled to have candy repeatedly being dropped in her bucket. It’s kind of funny because you normally tell your children not to approach strangers and certainly not to take candy from them. Unless of course it is Halloween and they are dressed like a witch or a goblin. Then it’s ok.
As I watched my children tonight I realized how innocent they are. They are in awe of the world and open to new experiences. They are yet to be jaded. A certain amount of caution in the world is of course necessary as we grow older. We must learn to be wary of certain people and situations. However, I think many adults go too far and build large fences around themselves in order not to get hurt. And all of us have moments where we are just a bit too uptight. For instance, my daughter wore a beautiful costume last night – a St. Bernard with beautiful tan and white fur. As we were walking to our car to go trick-or-treating I told her, “Don’t get dirty before we go!” I wanted her to stay clean and look adorable. But being dirty is part of the fun, and isn’t a dog usually dirty anyway? My vision of what she should look like was quelling her fun and in this instance it wasn’t worth it. Her feet ended up dirty but her face was shining brightly. Did I really think she wouldn’t look adorable with a little dirt?
Whether we have a large fence around us or just a small one, we should take some time to look over the fence and make sure we are not missing out on something fabulous. Fences keep us safe but they also keep us locked in. There are times when we need to venture out of our comfort zones and go with the flow. We need to not worry about the dirt, or the spilled milk or the extra pieces of candy our children sneak from their Halloween buckets. Life is all about balance. We must keep some things in order and let some things go. I am learning that life is a beautiful experience, even if it is a little messy sometimes. The mess is part of the beauty. What can you let go of today?
Writing Update:
I received a couple of the books from the library that I was waiting for. One is about writing query letters to editors and the other is about writing and publishing creative nonfiction. I am still waiting for the Writer’s Market, which lists all the various publishers and editors. While I wait for that book I am diving into the other books so that I have a good grasp of what I need to do to get ahead.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
October 29, 2009
Affirmation: I pay my way easily
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Today I must pay my bills and I always dread this. Don’t we all? It’s especially hard when you are living off one income and raising kids, or you are barely scraping by each month, which is a common scenario in this economy. But is there a better, more positive way to look at our bills? Could we pay our bills with gratitude instead of dread?
Henriette Anne Klauser, author of “Write It Down Make It Happen” has a truly unique perspective to paying bills. For many years, while paying her bills, she has “written the word ‘thanks’ on the memo line in the bottom left corner whenever [she] writes out a check.” Why? She says it is “a way of taking a moment to think about the service the check is for and the people behind the purchase.” Furthermore, she notes that when she writes “Thanks!” on the memo line, she can “sit down to pay [her] bills with a grateful heart”. Essentially she is looking at each bill and understanding what paying it means for her and her family. For example, paying her heating bill provides a warm, cozy environment, and she is grateful for that.
Louise L. Hay has a similar approach to looking at her bills. She believes that “bills are really wonderful things. It means that somebody has trusted you enough to give you their service or product, knowing that you have the ability to pay for it.” Granted, there are times when we barely have enough to pay for it. But I think the idea is to not feel so much dread or defeat when we pay our bills, and if we have too many bills, we should examine what things we really need in life and what things are just wants.
A couple of months ago I had to go to the hospital because I was very ill. I am lucky, and grateful, to have health insurance but I still have a $50 co-pay for hospital visits. The bill is sitting in front of me now and I realize that instead of just being another $50 out of my pocket, it means that I had the ability to get much needed care. I am happy to write thank you on this bill because they made me feel better quickly so that I could return to my family and take care of them.
In this tough economy it is not easy to look at bills in a more positive light, especially when some companies have been operating on less than ethical terms. However, it does us no good individually to focus on all the negativity. We are much better off to remember that our electricity gives us light, our grocery bill feeds our family, and our car payment gets us where we need to go. It’s important to lay our focus on the service, not just the money coming out of our checking account.
I challenge you to think of your bills in a whole new light today. What have they provided for you and your family?
Writing Update:
I have slowly been working on my romance story. It has been a slow process but I am doing it. I am also doing some research on writing for my local newspaper.
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Today I must pay my bills and I always dread this. Don’t we all? It’s especially hard when you are living off one income and raising kids, or you are barely scraping by each month, which is a common scenario in this economy. But is there a better, more positive way to look at our bills? Could we pay our bills with gratitude instead of dread?
Henriette Anne Klauser, author of “Write It Down Make It Happen” has a truly unique perspective to paying bills. For many years, while paying her bills, she has “written the word ‘thanks’ on the memo line in the bottom left corner whenever [she] writes out a check.” Why? She says it is “a way of taking a moment to think about the service the check is for and the people behind the purchase.” Furthermore, she notes that when she writes “Thanks!” on the memo line, she can “sit down to pay [her] bills with a grateful heart”. Essentially she is looking at each bill and understanding what paying it means for her and her family. For example, paying her heating bill provides a warm, cozy environment, and she is grateful for that.
Louise L. Hay has a similar approach to looking at her bills. She believes that “bills are really wonderful things. It means that somebody has trusted you enough to give you their service or product, knowing that you have the ability to pay for it.” Granted, there are times when we barely have enough to pay for it. But I think the idea is to not feel so much dread or defeat when we pay our bills, and if we have too many bills, we should examine what things we really need in life and what things are just wants.
A couple of months ago I had to go to the hospital because I was very ill. I am lucky, and grateful, to have health insurance but I still have a $50 co-pay for hospital visits. The bill is sitting in front of me now and I realize that instead of just being another $50 out of my pocket, it means that I had the ability to get much needed care. I am happy to write thank you on this bill because they made me feel better quickly so that I could return to my family and take care of them.
In this tough economy it is not easy to look at bills in a more positive light, especially when some companies have been operating on less than ethical terms. However, it does us no good individually to focus on all the negativity. We are much better off to remember that our electricity gives us light, our grocery bill feeds our family, and our car payment gets us where we need to go. It’s important to lay our focus on the service, not just the money coming out of our checking account.
I challenge you to think of your bills in a whole new light today. What have they provided for you and your family?
Writing Update:
I have slowly been working on my romance story. It has been a slow process but I am doing it. I am also doing some research on writing for my local newspaper.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
October 27, 2009
Affirmation: I give and receive gifts graciously
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Yesterday I was desperate for some strong coffee, being a Monday, so I put the kids in the car and headed to the local drive-thru Starbucks. I ordered a Grande cappuccino and waited my turn. There was a car in front of me and my son noticed there was a child in the back seat. It was a really run down car and for some reason my son was intrigued by the car. I answered his questions but paid little attention to the people in front of me. I was focused on getting my Starbucks. As I pulled up to the window to pay the barista, she handed me my coffee and said the person in front of me had bought my coffee and to have a great day.
Ok, so last month a gentleman was kind enough to buy me breakfast on my birthday and this month a complete strange is buying me a cup of coffee on a morning when I really needed it. Something is going on in the world – something great!
One of my friends recently sent me a website about giving to others – helpothers.org. It is a site with stories about people who have done acts of kindness for others and how it has personally changed their own lives. After reading several of these stories last night I did a little more research and discovered something called the 29-day Giving Challenge. It is a global gift giving movement where every day for 29 days you give something to someone else. It can be a kind note, a cup of coffee, etc. It was started by a woman named Cami Walker who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was given the advice, by a South African medicine woman, to stop thinking about her so much and start giving away to others. While she still has multiple sclerosis her symptoms have dramatically reduced and she has created a website for others to document their 29 days of gift giving and how it has enhanced or changed their lives.
The website is http://www.29gifts.org/ and I encourage everyone to check it out and sign up for 29 days of giving to others. The stories on the website are inspiring and I absolutely love the idea of changing the world one day at a time, one gift at a time. When the gentlemen bought me breakfast on my birthday and then the lady bought me coffee yesterday, it made me feel really good. How nice to make others feel this way. Plus I think we live in a world of me, me and me, and by giving to others we become a little less obsessed with ourselves. Louise L. Hay points out that, “appreciation and acceptance act like powerful magnets for miracles every moment of the day.” I have signed up for the 29 day challenge and encourage you to do the same. I will report back after 29 days to let you know what changes have happened for me. I’d love to hear if others are following in my lead. Have a great day!
Writing Update:
Ok, I have to be honest…I haven’t done much these last couple of days. It’s hard to write that down here and makes me feel frustrated with myself, so today I am going to change that. Every week I get the magazine Woman’s World and there is a short romance story published every week. Today I am going to start writing a short romance story that I will submit for publishing. I am giving myself one week to finish the story. So, next Tuesday, I will report back on my progress with this. Wish me luck!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Yesterday I was desperate for some strong coffee, being a Monday, so I put the kids in the car and headed to the local drive-thru Starbucks. I ordered a Grande cappuccino and waited my turn. There was a car in front of me and my son noticed there was a child in the back seat. It was a really run down car and for some reason my son was intrigued by the car. I answered his questions but paid little attention to the people in front of me. I was focused on getting my Starbucks. As I pulled up to the window to pay the barista, she handed me my coffee and said the person in front of me had bought my coffee and to have a great day.
Ok, so last month a gentleman was kind enough to buy me breakfast on my birthday and this month a complete strange is buying me a cup of coffee on a morning when I really needed it. Something is going on in the world – something great!
One of my friends recently sent me a website about giving to others – helpothers.org. It is a site with stories about people who have done acts of kindness for others and how it has personally changed their own lives. After reading several of these stories last night I did a little more research and discovered something called the 29-day Giving Challenge. It is a global gift giving movement where every day for 29 days you give something to someone else. It can be a kind note, a cup of coffee, etc. It was started by a woman named Cami Walker who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was given the advice, by a South African medicine woman, to stop thinking about her so much and start giving away to others. While she still has multiple sclerosis her symptoms have dramatically reduced and she has created a website for others to document their 29 days of gift giving and how it has enhanced or changed their lives.
The website is http://www.29gifts.org/ and I encourage everyone to check it out and sign up for 29 days of giving to others. The stories on the website are inspiring and I absolutely love the idea of changing the world one day at a time, one gift at a time. When the gentlemen bought me breakfast on my birthday and then the lady bought me coffee yesterday, it made me feel really good. How nice to make others feel this way. Plus I think we live in a world of me, me and me, and by giving to others we become a little less obsessed with ourselves. Louise L. Hay points out that, “appreciation and acceptance act like powerful magnets for miracles every moment of the day.” I have signed up for the 29 day challenge and encourage you to do the same. I will report back after 29 days to let you know what changes have happened for me. I’d love to hear if others are following in my lead. Have a great day!
Writing Update:
Ok, I have to be honest…I haven’t done much these last couple of days. It’s hard to write that down here and makes me feel frustrated with myself, so today I am going to change that. Every week I get the magazine Woman’s World and there is a short romance story published every week. Today I am going to start writing a short romance story that I will submit for publishing. I am giving myself one week to finish the story. So, next Tuesday, I will report back on my progress with this. Wish me luck!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
October 25, 2009
Affirmation: Today, I drop my list of expectations!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Today my husband and I are taking our kids to the pumpkin patch. It is one of my very favorite activities to do in the fall. I love getting candy apples, picking out pumpkins, and watching the kids’ eyes light up with excitement. The pumpkin patch that we go to also has a petting zoo and it’s fantastic to watch the children pet the animals and get a little scared when they nibble at their hands for food. Needless to say, I am really looking forward to the day. My expectations are high.
The problem with high expectations is that the fall back to reality is pretty steep. You expect to be at the top of the mountain and instead you are at the bottom, or somewhere in between, and your view is much different than anticipated. My kids are at an age where temper tantrums, sibling rivalry and general disobedience can creep up at any moment and ruin even the best of days. Just the other night, for my husband’s birthday, I spent a great deal of the evening dealing with my son’s behavior because he was overexcited about the birthday celebration. The ironic part is that he was looking forward to the birthday dinner all day long, and when it actually arrived he was too worked up to enjoy it, and I was frustrated that his behavior was taking center stage.
Today I am hoping that my kids will behave, enjoy picking out pumpkins (agreeing on exactly the ones they want), and we will have a beautiful day together as a family. Is this possible? Sure! Is it likely? No. That doesn’t mean it can’t be a wonderful day though. Louise L. Hay points out that “unconditional love is really just love with no expectations.” Essentially it means that I must drop my list of expectations, go with the flow today, and enjoy the beautiful little moments that punctuate the day. In view of that, if my daughter drops her candy apple in the dirt, or my son gets bitten by a goat, I am going to remember that it is all part of the experience and it does not mean that the day is ruined. I will instead focus on the smiles my kids will inevitably have on their faces at some point during the day. My pictures will be priceless, even if one of the kids has tears rolling down their face or the other one refuses to smile. I will capture the moment, and whether the view is spectacular or cloudy, I am still pretty damn lucky to get to spend the day making memories with my kids!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Today my husband and I are taking our kids to the pumpkin patch. It is one of my very favorite activities to do in the fall. I love getting candy apples, picking out pumpkins, and watching the kids’ eyes light up with excitement. The pumpkin patch that we go to also has a petting zoo and it’s fantastic to watch the children pet the animals and get a little scared when they nibble at their hands for food. Needless to say, I am really looking forward to the day. My expectations are high.
The problem with high expectations is that the fall back to reality is pretty steep. You expect to be at the top of the mountain and instead you are at the bottom, or somewhere in between, and your view is much different than anticipated. My kids are at an age where temper tantrums, sibling rivalry and general disobedience can creep up at any moment and ruin even the best of days. Just the other night, for my husband’s birthday, I spent a great deal of the evening dealing with my son’s behavior because he was overexcited about the birthday celebration. The ironic part is that he was looking forward to the birthday dinner all day long, and when it actually arrived he was too worked up to enjoy it, and I was frustrated that his behavior was taking center stage.
Today I am hoping that my kids will behave, enjoy picking out pumpkins (agreeing on exactly the ones they want), and we will have a beautiful day together as a family. Is this possible? Sure! Is it likely? No. That doesn’t mean it can’t be a wonderful day though. Louise L. Hay points out that “unconditional love is really just love with no expectations.” Essentially it means that I must drop my list of expectations, go with the flow today, and enjoy the beautiful little moments that punctuate the day. In view of that, if my daughter drops her candy apple in the dirt, or my son gets bitten by a goat, I am going to remember that it is all part of the experience and it does not mean that the day is ruined. I will instead focus on the smiles my kids will inevitably have on their faces at some point during the day. My pictures will be priceless, even if one of the kids has tears rolling down their face or the other one refuses to smile. I will capture the moment, and whether the view is spectacular or cloudy, I am still pretty damn lucky to get to spend the day making memories with my kids!
Friday, October 23, 2009
October 23, 2009
One Month Update
It has been on month since I started this project and I thought I should take a look at what progress, if any, has been made. When I decided to test the power of positive thinking, the first few days proved to be easy. I was excited about the idea and had really high hopes. As the days progressed it became more difficult. It’s hard to break old habits and change your thought patterns. While I still have many, many things to work on, I want to share the things that I think have already changed for me:
• I am more patient with my children and I am enjoying them more
• I am developing a healthier relationship with food
• I am sleeping better and have more energy
• I am thrilled to wake up in the mornings and read and write – I am rediscovering my passion for writing and although it’s a bit scary I am pushing through my fear and feeling good about it.
Looking at this list inspires me to keep going because these are all changes that I am so happy about. It’s been a lot of work to keep myself in a positive mode, but I am already reaping the benefits, and I think it’s critical for my personal well being to keep going.
Each day since I started this project I’ve noticed how important and powerful a person’s thoughts can be. Yesterday I was playing with my daughter and she bumped her head on the side of the couch. It was a very minor bump, but being the drama queen she is, it was played up. She put her hand on her head and said “hurt” several times and then came over to me for a kiss. She does this on a regular basis – looking for a kiss to stop her pain. Even my four year old still looks for this. Their thoughts have led them to believe that a kiss from mom will ease the pain. I’m sure if you looked at this scientifically that wouldn’t be possible. But kids don’t care about science or the actual ability of a kiss to heal. They know that when mom kisses them the pain will stop. I just love how their little minds work and I continue to be inspired by them every single day.
Today is my husband’s birthday and I am looking forward to baking a cake with my kids and getting ready for his birthday celebration tonight. I find myself feeling incredibly grateful for the life I have. I have two beautiful children, I am married to an amazing man who inspires me and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and I get to spend my days taking care of all of them. These feelings confirm that I must keep pressing forward with my new way of thinking. I am responsible for my own happiness and even though the days are often challenging, and I’m scared to make some of the big changes I know I need to make in order to be happy, I look into the eyes of my family and I see three great reasons to keep marching on!
Writing Update…
I have ordered several books from the library that will help me to push forward in my writing career. I ordered one on blogging, as I love this and want to learn as much as possible. I also ordered the 2009-2010 Writer’s Market, which is a huge book containing listings of every magazine you could write for, along with agent and book information. As soon as I receive it I will begin to make a list of every place I intend to write for and then start checking them off as I send things in. Finally, I am writing down the ideas that pop into my head every day for articles or books. One of these ideas, or possible several, will get published one day!!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
October 21, 2009
The other day I was talking to my mom and she told me that she had seen a woman on the Jon Stewart show promoting a book about how thinking positive was destroying America. I was naturally intrigued since I am trying to prove the exact opposite. I had to look into it. The woman is Barbara Ehrenreich and the book is entitled “Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.” Before I begin my commentary I want to note that I have not read the entire book (I put my name on the waiting list at the library), but I did watch the episode from Jon Stewart and I did read the introduction to the book posted on Ehrenreich’s website. I have extracted her comments from there and will follow up with a further review once I have read more of her book. In the meantime…
When I watched Ehrenreich on the Jon Stewart show I definitely sensed a negative vibe with her. She does not strike me as a happy person. In fact, she appeared somewhat bitter and frustrated with the world. Her book came to be because Ehrenreich was diagnosed with cancer, and she says that instead of getting the support she was looking for, she was bombarded with people telling her to just think positive. I agree that when someone discovers they have cancer you shouldn’t immediately respond with, “Just stay positive!” In fact, one who does that is really being insensitive because they are not allowing the person to grieve and feel sad over their situation. It also shows that the individual doesn’t really understand what positive thinking is about. You can’t just say, “Stay positive,” or just “hope” things will get better. Being positive means sending out positive images into the world, taking responsibility for your actions, making things happen for yourself, and finding a way to have an inner calm. When you have a positive inner peace you do not feel the need to tell everyone to “just be positive,” and this is where I think Ehrenreich is confused. She has obviously come in contact with a great deal of people who think that if you just want to be positive all will be well and that is simply not how it works.
Louise L. Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life,” and my inspiration for this project, is also a cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was healed by what she refers to as “positive thinking.” However, it was much more than just putting a positive vibe into the world (although that is important). She did months and months of therapy, eating healthy and getting to the root of her emotions. She had a tumultuous relationship with her mother that was a great source of pain for her and she was not able to heal until she worked through her pain. Changing your life and your thinking can be painful and difficult. I am struggling every day to change my patterns and create a better life for myself. I cannot simply wake up in the morning and wish it to be better. I must work towards it.
Positive thinking is the scapegoat for denial in Ehrenreich’s book. She attacks “positive thinking” and outlines all of the negative effects but in looking at her words what she is really upset about is a pervading sense of denial and lack of responsibility taking place in our country. Her take on positive thinking seems to be coming from people who are just throwing the term around but not engaging in the work it takes to make change. I wanted to take a look at some of her quotes and respond to them…
“We cannot levitate ourselves into that blessed condition by wishing it. We need to brace ourselves for a struggle against terrifying obstacles, both of our own making and imposed by the natural world. And the first step is to recover from the mass delusion that is positive thinking.” (Ehrenreich)
Ehrenreich refers to positive thinking as “mass delusion,” but again I think it’s because she doesn’t understand how it works. Anyone who has lived even just a few years on this earth knows that life is often difficult, confusing and hard to cope with. But, in my opinion, all of these things that happen around us and to us are part of lessons that we must learn. She is right that you cannot just wish for good things. You must work hard to change your place in life; you must give yourself time to grieve if you lose something or someone, etc. Positive thinking can be a vehicle to help you learn and grow from these experiences.
“But of course it takes the effort of positive thinking to imagine that America is the “best” or the “greatest.” (Ehrenreich)
In this statement Ehrenreich has used the words “positive thinking” but they are completely misplaced. Boasting that our country is the “best” or the “greatest” is not about positive thinking. It is about arrogance. Positive thinking and arrogance are not the same thing.
“As the economy has brought more layoffs and financial turbulence to the middle class, the promoters of positive thinking have increasingly emphasized this negative judgment: to be disappointed, resentful, or downcast is to be a “victim” and a “whiner.” (Ehrenreich)
Ehrenreich is again classifying all positive thinking people into one category. Her frustration should be aimed at people who are in denial. Positive thinking does not mean that we can’t be disappointed or frustrated or even resentful at times. These are emotions that are part of the human condition. That being said, if we allow ourselves to wallow in disappointment and resentment we are doing the most harm to ourselves. If we cannot learn to recover from these states of emotion, take responsibility for our own actions, and forgive others, we will be stuck in a life that is pretty miserable; a life where we allow ourselves to be victims and whiners. We do have a choice in how we see our lives and what we do with it.
These are just a few of the quotes I extracted from her book. I could have done many more but I think you get the point. Ehrenreich does note that she does not want to see the world in a negative light and she is not looking to make things bad for people. She wants people to be realistic. Being realistic is important because it allows us to get to the heart of our emotions and deal with them. However, I’d like to encourage Ehrenreich to not wallow in her emotions forever but to find a light and a way out of them.
One final note…
When I was in college I had the privilege of reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, the story of a man who survived the concentration camps and kept his sanity. He lost everything he loved and despite all of this he remained positive. His positive thinking did not change his circumstances or the war happening in the world. The only thing it changed was his perception of his life and it allowed him to survive and thrive when he finally escaped. Frankl once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” I encourage Ehrenreich to embrace the power she holds over her thoughts and to take a second look at positive thinking.
Writing Update…
As promised, each posting will include a small segment on what I am doing to become a writer. Here is my progress…
• I have made a list of every paper and magazine I am going to submit work to.
• I have started coming up with ideas for a non-fiction book idea
When I watched Ehrenreich on the Jon Stewart show I definitely sensed a negative vibe with her. She does not strike me as a happy person. In fact, she appeared somewhat bitter and frustrated with the world. Her book came to be because Ehrenreich was diagnosed with cancer, and she says that instead of getting the support she was looking for, she was bombarded with people telling her to just think positive. I agree that when someone discovers they have cancer you shouldn’t immediately respond with, “Just stay positive!” In fact, one who does that is really being insensitive because they are not allowing the person to grieve and feel sad over their situation. It also shows that the individual doesn’t really understand what positive thinking is about. You can’t just say, “Stay positive,” or just “hope” things will get better. Being positive means sending out positive images into the world, taking responsibility for your actions, making things happen for yourself, and finding a way to have an inner calm. When you have a positive inner peace you do not feel the need to tell everyone to “just be positive,” and this is where I think Ehrenreich is confused. She has obviously come in contact with a great deal of people who think that if you just want to be positive all will be well and that is simply not how it works.
Louise L. Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life,” and my inspiration for this project, is also a cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was healed by what she refers to as “positive thinking.” However, it was much more than just putting a positive vibe into the world (although that is important). She did months and months of therapy, eating healthy and getting to the root of her emotions. She had a tumultuous relationship with her mother that was a great source of pain for her and she was not able to heal until she worked through her pain. Changing your life and your thinking can be painful and difficult. I am struggling every day to change my patterns and create a better life for myself. I cannot simply wake up in the morning and wish it to be better. I must work towards it.
Positive thinking is the scapegoat for denial in Ehrenreich’s book. She attacks “positive thinking” and outlines all of the negative effects but in looking at her words what she is really upset about is a pervading sense of denial and lack of responsibility taking place in our country. Her take on positive thinking seems to be coming from people who are just throwing the term around but not engaging in the work it takes to make change. I wanted to take a look at some of her quotes and respond to them…
“We cannot levitate ourselves into that blessed condition by wishing it. We need to brace ourselves for a struggle against terrifying obstacles, both of our own making and imposed by the natural world. And the first step is to recover from the mass delusion that is positive thinking.” (Ehrenreich)
Ehrenreich refers to positive thinking as “mass delusion,” but again I think it’s because she doesn’t understand how it works. Anyone who has lived even just a few years on this earth knows that life is often difficult, confusing and hard to cope with. But, in my opinion, all of these things that happen around us and to us are part of lessons that we must learn. She is right that you cannot just wish for good things. You must work hard to change your place in life; you must give yourself time to grieve if you lose something or someone, etc. Positive thinking can be a vehicle to help you learn and grow from these experiences.
“But of course it takes the effort of positive thinking to imagine that America is the “best” or the “greatest.” (Ehrenreich)
In this statement Ehrenreich has used the words “positive thinking” but they are completely misplaced. Boasting that our country is the “best” or the “greatest” is not about positive thinking. It is about arrogance. Positive thinking and arrogance are not the same thing.
“As the economy has brought more layoffs and financial turbulence to the middle class, the promoters of positive thinking have increasingly emphasized this negative judgment: to be disappointed, resentful, or downcast is to be a “victim” and a “whiner.” (Ehrenreich)
Ehrenreich is again classifying all positive thinking people into one category. Her frustration should be aimed at people who are in denial. Positive thinking does not mean that we can’t be disappointed or frustrated or even resentful at times. These are emotions that are part of the human condition. That being said, if we allow ourselves to wallow in disappointment and resentment we are doing the most harm to ourselves. If we cannot learn to recover from these states of emotion, take responsibility for our own actions, and forgive others, we will be stuck in a life that is pretty miserable; a life where we allow ourselves to be victims and whiners. We do have a choice in how we see our lives and what we do with it.
These are just a few of the quotes I extracted from her book. I could have done many more but I think you get the point. Ehrenreich does note that she does not want to see the world in a negative light and she is not looking to make things bad for people. She wants people to be realistic. Being realistic is important because it allows us to get to the heart of our emotions and deal with them. However, I’d like to encourage Ehrenreich to not wallow in her emotions forever but to find a light and a way out of them.
One final note…
When I was in college I had the privilege of reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, the story of a man who survived the concentration camps and kept his sanity. He lost everything he loved and despite all of this he remained positive. His positive thinking did not change his circumstances or the war happening in the world. The only thing it changed was his perception of his life and it allowed him to survive and thrive when he finally escaped. Frankl once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” I encourage Ehrenreich to embrace the power she holds over her thoughts and to take a second look at positive thinking.
Writing Update…
As promised, each posting will include a small segment on what I am doing to become a writer. Here is my progress…
• I have made a list of every paper and magazine I am going to submit work to.
• I have started coming up with ideas for a non-fiction book idea
Sunday, October 18, 2009
October 18, 2009
Affirmation: I am a successful and talented writer.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life. Being a mother is the most important thing I do, and the most rewarding, but I also want to do something that energizes my spirit and helps to support my family. As my kids are getting older, and the world is getting scarier, I realize how important it is to be around for my children. I want to be present when they get home from school, and I want to be able to attend their sporting events or school functions. Therefore, it is critical for me to have a career that is flexible. Since I have started this project I have been making lists of things that I like doing best or that I find the most interesting. I want whatever career I choose to be something I love because I think in doing so it will inspire me to be a better mom and wife. Several different things have crossed my mind but I was reading a book the other day called “Write It Down, Make It Happen” by Henriette Anne Klauser and I realized I left one very important thing off my list – being a writer. Why is that?
Klauser’s book has a chapter entitled, “Resistance Has Meaning,” and it really hit a nerve with me. I obviously love to write or I would have never started this blog, or wouldn’t have previously submitted articles to magazines, or wouldn’t have started a novel once upon a time. And yet I never included this profession on my list of possibilities. Klauser points out that “Resistance has meaning, and getting behind resistance, not just around it, will set you free.” I can blame a busy schedule or the fact that I have small children, but the real obstacle in me becoming a writer is me.
Klauser suggests writing down the reasons we have for not going after our goals. She says to write down every single factor that you believe is standing in your way until you get to the bottom of the fear and address it. Klauser believes that in writing down the reasons behind your reluctance you will discover the true reasons that you don’t go after your dreams. Today I am going to get a little personal and share my reasons. Here we go…
• It is a highly competitive and saturated market – why does the world need another author?
• It’s too hard to write when you have small children.
• I’m afraid that I won’t make enough money.
• I’m worried that I don’t have enough discipline.
• Writing involves a lot of rejection and I hate rejection.
• I worry that the school I went to wasn’t the best school and I’m not educated enough.
• I’m afraid I’m not good enough.
There it is – the bottom line – I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I can blame the fact that I’m busy or that I have small children but those are not the real reasons. Those are surface reasons. I have often said that I want to be a writer, I’ve had numerous discussions with my mother about writing for a living, and yet I have never really pursued it. I have submitted an article or two for publication (and been rejected) but I’ve never put my heart and soul into it and I’ve never really put a vibe into the world that says I’m ready to go for it. I’m scared. Klauser opines that once you discover what it is about you that is holding you back, “The truth shall set you free, and free the world to help you along a little.”
It is hard to admit that you are afraid of not being good enough but I wanted to share this because I think we are all afraid of something. Now that I know why I was resisting I want to move forward and pursue a career in writing and I’m going to share this pursuit with you. After each posting I will display a note that tells you what I am doing to move forward with my career in writing. I will also share my rejections and successes along the way. I think it is important to do this because if one is to test the power of positive thinking and sending out positive messages to the world, then I must really go for it. I must take that which I am most afraid of, fight through it, and send out this message to the world…
I am a successful and talented writer.
I encourage you to look at something you are resisting and write down your own list of what holds you back. It is not an easy task, but I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still afraid, but I am no longer going to use this as an excuse to not move forward. I would never tell my children that they should simply stop pursuing their goals because they are afraid. I owe it to my children, and myself, to pursue my dreams, even if I am scared. It’s the best gift I can give them.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life. Being a mother is the most important thing I do, and the most rewarding, but I also want to do something that energizes my spirit and helps to support my family. As my kids are getting older, and the world is getting scarier, I realize how important it is to be around for my children. I want to be present when they get home from school, and I want to be able to attend their sporting events or school functions. Therefore, it is critical for me to have a career that is flexible. Since I have started this project I have been making lists of things that I like doing best or that I find the most interesting. I want whatever career I choose to be something I love because I think in doing so it will inspire me to be a better mom and wife. Several different things have crossed my mind but I was reading a book the other day called “Write It Down, Make It Happen” by Henriette Anne Klauser and I realized I left one very important thing off my list – being a writer. Why is that?
Klauser’s book has a chapter entitled, “Resistance Has Meaning,” and it really hit a nerve with me. I obviously love to write or I would have never started this blog, or wouldn’t have previously submitted articles to magazines, or wouldn’t have started a novel once upon a time. And yet I never included this profession on my list of possibilities. Klauser points out that “Resistance has meaning, and getting behind resistance, not just around it, will set you free.” I can blame a busy schedule or the fact that I have small children, but the real obstacle in me becoming a writer is me.
Klauser suggests writing down the reasons we have for not going after our goals. She says to write down every single factor that you believe is standing in your way until you get to the bottom of the fear and address it. Klauser believes that in writing down the reasons behind your reluctance you will discover the true reasons that you don’t go after your dreams. Today I am going to get a little personal and share my reasons. Here we go…
• It is a highly competitive and saturated market – why does the world need another author?
• It’s too hard to write when you have small children.
• I’m afraid that I won’t make enough money.
• I’m worried that I don’t have enough discipline.
• Writing involves a lot of rejection and I hate rejection.
• I worry that the school I went to wasn’t the best school and I’m not educated enough.
• I’m afraid I’m not good enough.
There it is – the bottom line – I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I can blame the fact that I’m busy or that I have small children but those are not the real reasons. Those are surface reasons. I have often said that I want to be a writer, I’ve had numerous discussions with my mother about writing for a living, and yet I have never really pursued it. I have submitted an article or two for publication (and been rejected) but I’ve never put my heart and soul into it and I’ve never really put a vibe into the world that says I’m ready to go for it. I’m scared. Klauser opines that once you discover what it is about you that is holding you back, “The truth shall set you free, and free the world to help you along a little.”
It is hard to admit that you are afraid of not being good enough but I wanted to share this because I think we are all afraid of something. Now that I know why I was resisting I want to move forward and pursue a career in writing and I’m going to share this pursuit with you. After each posting I will display a note that tells you what I am doing to move forward with my career in writing. I will also share my rejections and successes along the way. I think it is important to do this because if one is to test the power of positive thinking and sending out positive messages to the world, then I must really go for it. I must take that which I am most afraid of, fight through it, and send out this message to the world…
I am a successful and talented writer.
I encourage you to look at something you are resisting and write down your own list of what holds you back. It is not an easy task, but I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still afraid, but I am no longer going to use this as an excuse to not move forward. I would never tell my children that they should simply stop pursuing their goals because they are afraid. I owe it to my children, and myself, to pursue my dreams, even if I am scared. It’s the best gift I can give them.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
October 14, 2009
Affirmation: I choose to remain in the present moment.
Actress Julianna Margulies (remember her from E.R) recently made a comment in regard to raising her young son. She said, “We tend to rehash the past and rehearse the future. You can fret as much as you want, and it’s not going to change anything. Why not get through with grace and ease?” This comment really resonated with me because when you have children, especially young ones, they seem to be getting older at lightning speed but sometimes the days seem to drag on and on. I have many a times thought, “Oh, it will be so much easier when they are older and can do for themselves.” And then I immediately feel saddened because I realize I’m wishing away my time with them. Right now they are banging on the bathroom door and following me around the house to spend time with me, but someday I will be knocking on their doors begging to talk.
I think it’s quite common to spend a lot of time wishing you had done things differently in the past or deciding how you will change the future. And while I do believe it’s important to set goals, we can’t get so wrapped up in our plans that we forget to enjoy the moment we are in. Positive thinking must be used in our present moments in order for our lives to be happy. When our kids are screaming or fighting we must remind ourselves that this will pass and to take a deep breath. Before we know it they will be out of the house and the quiet will be too much to bear.
Living in the present moment can transfer to all areas of our lives. If for some reason we are not happy with our jobs, for example, we should be examining why that is and what we really want to do with our lives. We must put out a positive vibe and let the world know that we are ready for change. In the meantime, however, we should focus on aspects we do like about our jobs. Think about the tasks that you enjoy doing or certain people that you work with that really make the day pleasant.
Country music star Faith Hill has a song entitled, “The Secret of Life is a Good Cup of Coffee.” The song talks about how the little things, like a good cup of coffee, are what make life so wonderful. Things you enjoy in the present moment. I for one am thoroughly enjoying the cup of coffee I am drinking now and the few moments of quiet I presently have before my children wake up. Today I pledge to enjoy playing blocks with my children and watching yet another episode of Dora. I plan to soak up every moment watching my son playing T-ball and enjoy every little hug and kiss that comes my way today. And when the moments get tough, I will take Margulies’ advice and remember that “this is just one moment, whatever kind of moment it is,” and I will choose to live more peacefully.
Actress Julianna Margulies (remember her from E.R) recently made a comment in regard to raising her young son. She said, “We tend to rehash the past and rehearse the future. You can fret as much as you want, and it’s not going to change anything. Why not get through with grace and ease?” This comment really resonated with me because when you have children, especially young ones, they seem to be getting older at lightning speed but sometimes the days seem to drag on and on. I have many a times thought, “Oh, it will be so much easier when they are older and can do for themselves.” And then I immediately feel saddened because I realize I’m wishing away my time with them. Right now they are banging on the bathroom door and following me around the house to spend time with me, but someday I will be knocking on their doors begging to talk.
I think it’s quite common to spend a lot of time wishing you had done things differently in the past or deciding how you will change the future. And while I do believe it’s important to set goals, we can’t get so wrapped up in our plans that we forget to enjoy the moment we are in. Positive thinking must be used in our present moments in order for our lives to be happy. When our kids are screaming or fighting we must remind ourselves that this will pass and to take a deep breath. Before we know it they will be out of the house and the quiet will be too much to bear.
Living in the present moment can transfer to all areas of our lives. If for some reason we are not happy with our jobs, for example, we should be examining why that is and what we really want to do with our lives. We must put out a positive vibe and let the world know that we are ready for change. In the meantime, however, we should focus on aspects we do like about our jobs. Think about the tasks that you enjoy doing or certain people that you work with that really make the day pleasant.
Country music star Faith Hill has a song entitled, “The Secret of Life is a Good Cup of Coffee.” The song talks about how the little things, like a good cup of coffee, are what make life so wonderful. Things you enjoy in the present moment. I for one am thoroughly enjoying the cup of coffee I am drinking now and the few moments of quiet I presently have before my children wake up. Today I pledge to enjoy playing blocks with my children and watching yet another episode of Dora. I plan to soak up every moment watching my son playing T-ball and enjoy every little hug and kiss that comes my way today. And when the moments get tough, I will take Margulies’ advice and remember that “this is just one moment, whatever kind of moment it is,” and I will choose to live more peacefully.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
October 13, 2009
Affirmation: I embrace and accept life’s changes.
In the November 2009 issue of Oprah magazine there is an entire section entitled, “Who Are You Meant to Be?” It has questionnaires and several articles that I highly recommend if you are feeling stuck in your job or just trying to figure out what you want to do in life. Today I’d like to focus on one of the articles in particular, as it deals with change. The article is written by Amy Bloom and is entitled, “But What If I’m Scared of Change?”
In changing our thought patterns and looking at life in a more positive light – putting positive vibrations into the world – we are bound to come across change. Change can be good or bad but is often uncomfortable and can keep us stuck in a rut. As scary as change can be, Bloom points out that “even if you make no changes in your lousy marriage, your stultifying job, or your painful relationship with your brother, all those things will change anyway. Your only choice is to take steps toward change.” Bloom further notes that “change is as inevitable as rain in the spring. Some of us just put on our raincoats and splash forward, some of us choose to stay home, a few admirable nuts shed their clothes and cavort in the yard, and some people go out and get deeply, resentfully, and miserably wet. And not matter what, the rain falls.” The bottom line is that we can try as we may to run away from change but there is no escaping it. Change is as inevitable as death – and as necessary! So why do we fight it so much?
There have been some changes in my life that I have fully embraced and others that I have fought. I was thrilled at getting pregnant and having babies (although I admit I didn’t fully understand how drastic and life altering those changes would be). Other changes I have fought and as a result it has kept me stuck. For example, I have worked in offices for many years (before becoming a stay at home mom), and although I have always been quite good at these jobs, they have never been that fulfilling. I always desire more – more responsibility, more challenges, etc. And yet, whenever I look for a new job, I look for the same kind of job I have always done. Why? Good question! Because I am good at it, I understand it, I feel comfortable in that realm. What if I am horrible at something else? What if I fail?
I think the biggest reason for fighting changes in our life is fear. We are afraid of what we don’t know. A little bit of this fear is healthy – it protects us and keeps us safe. But too much fear hinders our ability to move forward and really experience all life has to offer. If, for example, you never travel anywhere because you are unsure of what is out there you might ensure that your life is safe and predictable. But, you are also ensuring that you will miss out on the beauty of the world, the knowledge you can gain from other cultures, and the chance to challenge yourself and live your life to the fullest.
I tend to learn most of my lessons from my children and change is no exception. Whether I like it or not my children are going to change and grow. And I want them to! As cute as they are as babies they will eventually get older. Part of me looks forward to that (less physical work for me) and part of me is deeply saddened that they are growing so fast. But I have no control over their growth. They will grow and change whether I like it or not, so embracing each stage of their life seems a much more graceful approach.
What type of change do you fear? Is it keeping you stuck? How can you embrace this change? Today I challenge you to embrace or make an important change in your life. Remember that as scary as change can be, if you stay positive and embrace whatever might come your way, you are bound to reap tremendous rewards.
In the November 2009 issue of Oprah magazine there is an entire section entitled, “Who Are You Meant to Be?” It has questionnaires and several articles that I highly recommend if you are feeling stuck in your job or just trying to figure out what you want to do in life. Today I’d like to focus on one of the articles in particular, as it deals with change. The article is written by Amy Bloom and is entitled, “But What If I’m Scared of Change?”
In changing our thought patterns and looking at life in a more positive light – putting positive vibrations into the world – we are bound to come across change. Change can be good or bad but is often uncomfortable and can keep us stuck in a rut. As scary as change can be, Bloom points out that “even if you make no changes in your lousy marriage, your stultifying job, or your painful relationship with your brother, all those things will change anyway. Your only choice is to take steps toward change.” Bloom further notes that “change is as inevitable as rain in the spring. Some of us just put on our raincoats and splash forward, some of us choose to stay home, a few admirable nuts shed their clothes and cavort in the yard, and some people go out and get deeply, resentfully, and miserably wet. And not matter what, the rain falls.” The bottom line is that we can try as we may to run away from change but there is no escaping it. Change is as inevitable as death – and as necessary! So why do we fight it so much?
There have been some changes in my life that I have fully embraced and others that I have fought. I was thrilled at getting pregnant and having babies (although I admit I didn’t fully understand how drastic and life altering those changes would be). Other changes I have fought and as a result it has kept me stuck. For example, I have worked in offices for many years (before becoming a stay at home mom), and although I have always been quite good at these jobs, they have never been that fulfilling. I always desire more – more responsibility, more challenges, etc. And yet, whenever I look for a new job, I look for the same kind of job I have always done. Why? Good question! Because I am good at it, I understand it, I feel comfortable in that realm. What if I am horrible at something else? What if I fail?
I think the biggest reason for fighting changes in our life is fear. We are afraid of what we don’t know. A little bit of this fear is healthy – it protects us and keeps us safe. But too much fear hinders our ability to move forward and really experience all life has to offer. If, for example, you never travel anywhere because you are unsure of what is out there you might ensure that your life is safe and predictable. But, you are also ensuring that you will miss out on the beauty of the world, the knowledge you can gain from other cultures, and the chance to challenge yourself and live your life to the fullest.
I tend to learn most of my lessons from my children and change is no exception. Whether I like it or not my children are going to change and grow. And I want them to! As cute as they are as babies they will eventually get older. Part of me looks forward to that (less physical work for me) and part of me is deeply saddened that they are growing so fast. But I have no control over their growth. They will grow and change whether I like it or not, so embracing each stage of their life seems a much more graceful approach.
What type of change do you fear? Is it keeping you stuck? How can you embrace this change? Today I challenge you to embrace or make an important change in your life. Remember that as scary as change can be, if you stay positive and embrace whatever might come your way, you are bound to reap tremendous rewards.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
October 7, 2009
Affirmation: I love myself; therefore, I choose to be aware of what I put into my mouth and how it makes me feel. (Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
One of my goals for this project is to lose weight, gain energy and feel better about myself. At the beginning I stated I would not go on a “diet” and this still remains true. I will not be counting every carbohydrate or calorie or exercising for hours on end. However, I still need some parameters, otherwise I feel like I am not doing anything.
First, let’s take a look back at my weight gain/loss history. When I was little I was a stick figure who could eat anything she wanted. I never worried about weight or the food I put into my mouth. I ate when I was hungry and I wanted my food to taste good. As I got older and my love for magazines kicked in I gained a few pounds. While I will always be a magazine junkie, I have noticed that every issue of almost every woman’s magazine contains a story about how you can lose weight. My natural ability to keep myself thin was sent off track by the message that I “should” be worried about my weight. Then I had two babies and weight really became an issue for me. I lost the weight from my first child in about a year (although it was distributed differently than before). I am close, but I still have not lost all the baby weight from my second child, and she is about to turn two. At this point I don’t consider it baby weight. It is simply weight that I must make an effort to shed.
Dieting in this country is a billion dollar industry. There are a gazillion books, diet programs, and even television shows aimed at helping people overcome what has now become a national epidemic. What’s interesting to me is that none of these really seem to work. They might work for some, or for awhile, but if they were a cure to obesity everyone would use them and it would no longer be a problem. The bottom line is that diets don’t work. We must instead examine our relationship with food. The purpose of food is to give us health and energy. Food should also be pleasurable – something we can enjoy in the company of others. Instead, it often becomes a reward, a way to mask depression, or something to do when we are bored.
My 4 year old son has a healthy relationship with food. When he is hungry he eats, he likes a wide variety of foods and will enjoy a sweet treat, but only if he is physically hungry. There has been several times when I have packed his lunch for preschool and included a cookie or treat and he will come home having only eaten half or sometimes none of it at all. I ask him, “Why didn’t you eat your cookie?” and he responds, “I wasn’t hungry anymore.” How simple is that?
Ok, back to the parameters. These are my new rules:
• Drink lots of water (a glass upon waking, a glass before bed and a glass before each meal).
• Eat only when physically hungry. If it is dinner time and I am not hungry I can still sit at the table and enjoy a non-caloric beverage and the company of my family.
• Listen to my body – what kind of food am I craving? (sometimes it is a sweet treat but often I am needing protein)
• Stop reading any articles related to weight loss.
• Engage in some form of exercise on a daily basis – walking is great!
• Leave guilt behind and eat for pleasure and energy.
My children seem to be my greatest teachers in life. But I want to be a good role model for them and one of the greatest lessons I can teach them is how to have a healthy relationship with food. I want them to see me enjoying my food, abstaining when I am not hungry and never focusing on dieting. I want food to be something pleasurable, not something they feel guilty about. In order to change my relationship with food I must love myself and my children are my biggest inspiration. What inspires you?
One of my goals for this project is to lose weight, gain energy and feel better about myself. At the beginning I stated I would not go on a “diet” and this still remains true. I will not be counting every carbohydrate or calorie or exercising for hours on end. However, I still need some parameters, otherwise I feel like I am not doing anything.
First, let’s take a look back at my weight gain/loss history. When I was little I was a stick figure who could eat anything she wanted. I never worried about weight or the food I put into my mouth. I ate when I was hungry and I wanted my food to taste good. As I got older and my love for magazines kicked in I gained a few pounds. While I will always be a magazine junkie, I have noticed that every issue of almost every woman’s magazine contains a story about how you can lose weight. My natural ability to keep myself thin was sent off track by the message that I “should” be worried about my weight. Then I had two babies and weight really became an issue for me. I lost the weight from my first child in about a year (although it was distributed differently than before). I am close, but I still have not lost all the baby weight from my second child, and she is about to turn two. At this point I don’t consider it baby weight. It is simply weight that I must make an effort to shed.
Dieting in this country is a billion dollar industry. There are a gazillion books, diet programs, and even television shows aimed at helping people overcome what has now become a national epidemic. What’s interesting to me is that none of these really seem to work. They might work for some, or for awhile, but if they were a cure to obesity everyone would use them and it would no longer be a problem. The bottom line is that diets don’t work. We must instead examine our relationship with food. The purpose of food is to give us health and energy. Food should also be pleasurable – something we can enjoy in the company of others. Instead, it often becomes a reward, a way to mask depression, or something to do when we are bored.
My 4 year old son has a healthy relationship with food. When he is hungry he eats, he likes a wide variety of foods and will enjoy a sweet treat, but only if he is physically hungry. There has been several times when I have packed his lunch for preschool and included a cookie or treat and he will come home having only eaten half or sometimes none of it at all. I ask him, “Why didn’t you eat your cookie?” and he responds, “I wasn’t hungry anymore.” How simple is that?
Ok, back to the parameters. These are my new rules:
• Drink lots of water (a glass upon waking, a glass before bed and a glass before each meal).
• Eat only when physically hungry. If it is dinner time and I am not hungry I can still sit at the table and enjoy a non-caloric beverage and the company of my family.
• Listen to my body – what kind of food am I craving? (sometimes it is a sweet treat but often I am needing protein)
• Stop reading any articles related to weight loss.
• Engage in some form of exercise on a daily basis – walking is great!
• Leave guilt behind and eat for pleasure and energy.
My children seem to be my greatest teachers in life. But I want to be a good role model for them and one of the greatest lessons I can teach them is how to have a healthy relationship with food. I want them to see me enjoying my food, abstaining when I am not hungry and never focusing on dieting. I want food to be something pleasurable, not something they feel guilty about. In order to change my relationship with food I must love myself and my children are my biggest inspiration. What inspires you?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
October 6, 2009
Affirmation: I choose to think thoughts of love and peace and joy.
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
My friend and I were talking the other day about how we sometimes pick fights with people in our heads (usually our husbands). Have you ever done that? For example, let’s say that you had hoped your husband would do the dishes and he forgets. He leaves the house and you see the dishes and begin a conversation in your head that goes a little bit like this:
“How come you didn’t do the dishes?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.”
“You have no respect for me or anything I do around the house. You never help.”
Ok, this is a bit dramatic, but you get the point. You wanted something, whether you asked for it or not (usually not), and then you get all fired up. You take the train of thought and run with it. You spend the rest of the day grumpy and when your husband comes home that night you are irritated with him and he has no idea why.
Perhaps you are justified in your frustration, but instead of having an honest conversation with your husband about what you need him to do, or remembering that he does help you on a regular basis, you turn it into an argument in your head that sets a negative tone for the entire day.
In order to remain positive we must be able to change our thought patterns. This is much easier said than done and I never realized how often negative thoughts entered my brain until I began this project. One of my biggest issues is the negative thoughts I have running through my head in regards to my children. I often take it personally when the kids aren’t listening to me or picking up their toys in a timely fashion. I tend to take it as they have no respect for me. But they are only 4 and almost 2 so they are not being intentional, they are being kids. It’s hard for me to admit, but I often wake up in the morning and just hope that they will behave or they won’t frustrate me. This is such a negative way to begin the day and I am almost always frustrated at the way the day is progressing.
Instead of hoping that my day will go smoothly with the kids I am going to have a plan. For example, I am going to carve out time during the day that is specifically for each of them where I am not answering the phone or distracted in anyway. Even if this is only 15 minutes each, I will be ensuring that they are getting one on one time with me. I am also going to set up activities for them to do when I need to be doing my chores or making dinner. I will set up an art project or coloring or play dough. I’ve noticed that they are sometimes bored and if I can curb that then I can ensure that I get my own work done while they are busy.
Think about something that bothers you on a daily or regular basis and what your thoughts are in regard to this. Are you making it worse by expecting it to go badly? What can you do to change that? Practice positive thinking and also make an action plan. Remember that our thoughts are blueprints for the day ahead and we have the power to change our thoughts. What kind of day do you want to have?
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
My friend and I were talking the other day about how we sometimes pick fights with people in our heads (usually our husbands). Have you ever done that? For example, let’s say that you had hoped your husband would do the dishes and he forgets. He leaves the house and you see the dishes and begin a conversation in your head that goes a little bit like this:
“How come you didn’t do the dishes?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.”
“You have no respect for me or anything I do around the house. You never help.”
Ok, this is a bit dramatic, but you get the point. You wanted something, whether you asked for it or not (usually not), and then you get all fired up. You take the train of thought and run with it. You spend the rest of the day grumpy and when your husband comes home that night you are irritated with him and he has no idea why.
Perhaps you are justified in your frustration, but instead of having an honest conversation with your husband about what you need him to do, or remembering that he does help you on a regular basis, you turn it into an argument in your head that sets a negative tone for the entire day.
In order to remain positive we must be able to change our thought patterns. This is much easier said than done and I never realized how often negative thoughts entered my brain until I began this project. One of my biggest issues is the negative thoughts I have running through my head in regards to my children. I often take it personally when the kids aren’t listening to me or picking up their toys in a timely fashion. I tend to take it as they have no respect for me. But they are only 4 and almost 2 so they are not being intentional, they are being kids. It’s hard for me to admit, but I often wake up in the morning and just hope that they will behave or they won’t frustrate me. This is such a negative way to begin the day and I am almost always frustrated at the way the day is progressing.
Instead of hoping that my day will go smoothly with the kids I am going to have a plan. For example, I am going to carve out time during the day that is specifically for each of them where I am not answering the phone or distracted in anyway. Even if this is only 15 minutes each, I will be ensuring that they are getting one on one time with me. I am also going to set up activities for them to do when I need to be doing my chores or making dinner. I will set up an art project or coloring or play dough. I’ve noticed that they are sometimes bored and if I can curb that then I can ensure that I get my own work done while they are busy.
Think about something that bothers you on a daily or regular basis and what your thoughts are in regard to this. Are you making it worse by expecting it to go badly? What can you do to change that? Practice positive thinking and also make an action plan. Remember that our thoughts are blueprints for the day ahead and we have the power to change our thoughts. What kind of day do you want to have?
Friday, October 2, 2009
10/02/09
Affirmation: I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack. I choose to be peaceful and harmonious. (Affirmation from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Today I want to challenge your thinking a little bit. How do you feel about hope? Hope can mean many things. It can be something we wish for and expect for it to be fulfilled. It can mean looking forward with confidence. It can also take on a religious meaning where we desire something in the future and look to God to help us fulfill it. All of these definitions seem, on first glance, to have positive connotations and if used the right way can have positive effects on our lives.
In 1991 Dr. Robert Anthony published a book entitled “Doing What You Love, Loving What You Do – The ultimate key to personal happiness and financial freedom.” Anthony discusses hope and says, “The problem with hope is that its basis is in the way you believe things should be. And whenever they turn out some other way, you lose a little more hope.” Have you ever said to yourself that you will go into a situation thinking the worst and then if it turns out ok than you will just be pleasantly surprised? I have done this numerous times and it is a result of past times when I was hoping that something would turn out one way and when it didn’t I gave up hope and turned to the negative. You are trying to protect yourself from hurt but what you are really doing is sending out a negative vibe in the world.
Anthony encourages people to stop saying things like “I hope this works,” and “I hope things will get better.” These statements take away our power to make change in our lives because we are waiting for someone or something to change our situation. Anthony further notes that “Hope is a sublime illusion. It promises a lot of vague answers in some far-off, foggy future. It is what keeps us suffering in place when we should really be DOING something!”
I want to note that I don’t think hope is all bad. Looking for something in the future and expecting a positive outcome can be very powerful. However, I think it must be accompanied by a willingness to take action. We must take responsibility for the things that we hope for. We can hope for things and we can even ask God to guide us on our journey, but it is still our job to make these things happen.
What are you hoping for? Are you hoping to get a better job? Are you hoping for more money or a more secure future? Perhaps you are hoping to have a better relationship with someone. Take a minute to examine what your hopes are and if by hoping for these things you are just waiting around for them to happen. Make a list of small steps you can make that will help move you forward. By combining hope and action your dreams just may come true!!
Today I want to challenge your thinking a little bit. How do you feel about hope? Hope can mean many things. It can be something we wish for and expect for it to be fulfilled. It can mean looking forward with confidence. It can also take on a religious meaning where we desire something in the future and look to God to help us fulfill it. All of these definitions seem, on first glance, to have positive connotations and if used the right way can have positive effects on our lives.
In 1991 Dr. Robert Anthony published a book entitled “Doing What You Love, Loving What You Do – The ultimate key to personal happiness and financial freedom.” Anthony discusses hope and says, “The problem with hope is that its basis is in the way you believe things should be. And whenever they turn out some other way, you lose a little more hope.” Have you ever said to yourself that you will go into a situation thinking the worst and then if it turns out ok than you will just be pleasantly surprised? I have done this numerous times and it is a result of past times when I was hoping that something would turn out one way and when it didn’t I gave up hope and turned to the negative. You are trying to protect yourself from hurt but what you are really doing is sending out a negative vibe in the world.
Anthony encourages people to stop saying things like “I hope this works,” and “I hope things will get better.” These statements take away our power to make change in our lives because we are waiting for someone or something to change our situation. Anthony further notes that “Hope is a sublime illusion. It promises a lot of vague answers in some far-off, foggy future. It is what keeps us suffering in place when we should really be DOING something!”
I want to note that I don’t think hope is all bad. Looking for something in the future and expecting a positive outcome can be very powerful. However, I think it must be accompanied by a willingness to take action. We must take responsibility for the things that we hope for. We can hope for things and we can even ask God to guide us on our journey, but it is still our job to make these things happen.
What are you hoping for? Are you hoping to get a better job? Are you hoping for more money or a more secure future? Perhaps you are hoping to have a better relationship with someone. Take a minute to examine what your hopes are and if by hoping for these things you are just waiting around for them to happen. Make a list of small steps you can make that will help move you forward. By combining hope and action your dreams just may come true!!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
9/30/09
Affirmation: All my experiences are part of the richness and fullness of my life.
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
With every test comes a challenge and testing the power of positive thinking is no different. Over the weekend I woke up in a crappy mood both days and for no particular reason. Saturday I was able to switch my mood fairly quickly but Sunday proved to be much more difficult. I started getting frustrated with myself for not being positive which was even more unproductive. Consequently I decided to just accept my mood and not fight it. I’m not sure why I thought that it was unacceptable to be in a bad mood. It’s part of life and I actually discovered that accepting my mood and not trying to change it actually helped it dissipate faster. Sometimes we just have to accept who we are and how we are feeling.
While change is important, today I want to focus on self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is really self love and in order to make positive changes in our life we have to be able to accept some of our faults and recognize the things we are good at. One of my biggest worries in life is whether or not I am being a good mom. I want so badly to provide an excellent, loving home for my babies so they will not end up on a therapist’s couch detailing the horrible things I did to them that have screwed them up forever. Then I opened a parenting magazine, Cookie, and found an article by Nell Casey entitled “The Optimist’s Child.” The article states that “you have to work pretty darn hard to screw up your kids.” The article talks about how parents’ choices do affect children but they are not binding for the rest of their lives and if you parent with love in the best way you know how it will all be ok. Essentially our children will not be forever scarred if we are not in a good mood everyday or put on an extra cartoon here and there. What a relief! In the spirit of self-acceptance I decided to make a quick list of those things that I do well as a parent:
I feed my children healthy food and am teaching them how to cook
I play with my children and give them a lot of attention
I am willing to work hard every day to make a better life for them
I know in my heart that despite whatever mistakes I am making I am also doing a lot of things really well. I adore my children and I think that in the long run that is what they will remember about their childhood so I have to give myself a break. As my very wise 84 year old grandmother said, “Stop thinking about it all so much. It’s obvious to everyone but you sometimes how much you love your children.”
I want to leave you today with a positive story in which my 4 year old son taught me an invaluable lesson. He adores baseball and hits left handed. His grandfather was pitching to him yesterday and he was attempting to bat right handed and not doing particularly well. I said to him, “you should switch back to left it’s easier for you.” He looked me straight in the eye and said “don’t worry mom, I can do it.” And he did. He had no question of his ability and proved to me that if we say we can do something than we can do it. I hope his ability to think positively will carry on throughout his life. I am so proud!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
With every test comes a challenge and testing the power of positive thinking is no different. Over the weekend I woke up in a crappy mood both days and for no particular reason. Saturday I was able to switch my mood fairly quickly but Sunday proved to be much more difficult. I started getting frustrated with myself for not being positive which was even more unproductive. Consequently I decided to just accept my mood and not fight it. I’m not sure why I thought that it was unacceptable to be in a bad mood. It’s part of life and I actually discovered that accepting my mood and not trying to change it actually helped it dissipate faster. Sometimes we just have to accept who we are and how we are feeling.
While change is important, today I want to focus on self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is really self love and in order to make positive changes in our life we have to be able to accept some of our faults and recognize the things we are good at. One of my biggest worries in life is whether or not I am being a good mom. I want so badly to provide an excellent, loving home for my babies so they will not end up on a therapist’s couch detailing the horrible things I did to them that have screwed them up forever. Then I opened a parenting magazine, Cookie, and found an article by Nell Casey entitled “The Optimist’s Child.” The article states that “you have to work pretty darn hard to screw up your kids.” The article talks about how parents’ choices do affect children but they are not binding for the rest of their lives and if you parent with love in the best way you know how it will all be ok. Essentially our children will not be forever scarred if we are not in a good mood everyday or put on an extra cartoon here and there. What a relief! In the spirit of self-acceptance I decided to make a quick list of those things that I do well as a parent:
I feed my children healthy food and am teaching them how to cook
I play with my children and give them a lot of attention
I am willing to work hard every day to make a better life for them
I know in my heart that despite whatever mistakes I am making I am also doing a lot of things really well. I adore my children and I think that in the long run that is what they will remember about their childhood so I have to give myself a break. As my very wise 84 year old grandmother said, “Stop thinking about it all so much. It’s obvious to everyone but you sometimes how much you love your children.”
I want to leave you today with a positive story in which my 4 year old son taught me an invaluable lesson. He adores baseball and hits left handed. His grandfather was pitching to him yesterday and he was attempting to bat right handed and not doing particularly well. I said to him, “you should switch back to left it’s easier for you.” He looked me straight in the eye and said “don’t worry mom, I can do it.” And he did. He had no question of his ability and proved to me that if we say we can do something than we can do it. I hope his ability to think positively will carry on throughout his life. I am so proud!
Friday, September 25, 2009
9/25/09
Affirmation: I am in the most wonderful transition time, and I enjoy every moment of it.
(Affirmation from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Yesterday I received a fabulous gift for my birthday from a wonderful aunt and uncle – the book “My Life in France” by Julia Child. I recently saw the movie Julie & Julia and loved it! It is a movie I highly recommend as it is funny and inspiring and a beautiful testament to the power of a loving relationship. I was thrilled to receive this book because Julia Child was one of those people that radiated light and happiness. The book, as the title suggests, is about her life in France and how it changed her forever. I have just begun reading the book but I had to share a snippet from the introduction because I found it so powerful. Child says, “Those early years in France were among the best of my life. They marked a crucial period of transformation in which I found my true calling, experienced an awakening of the senses, and had such fun that I hardly stopped moving long enough to catch my breath.”
Isn’t this what we are all looking for? To wake up in the morning and be incredibly excited about our lives. To have such passion and inspiration. When Julia Child moved to France she didn’t know how to cook, she didn’t speak French, she essentially knew nothing about the new world she was living in and yet she embraced it. She dove into the culture and the people and found true joy and happiness. I think we could all learn from this. How can we adapt and love the place we are in right now?
Today look around at your surroundings and notice their beauty. Grab a good cup of coffee or your favorite pastry or have a glass of wine out on the porch. Enjoy the small pleasures of life because they really are the best things life has to offer. If you are truly inspired, try a new recipe tonight and indulge in the aromas. Take each bite slowly and enjoy the process instead of focusing on filling your belly.
Start something today that will allow you to be so happy that you can’t catch your breath!
(Affirmation from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)
Yesterday I received a fabulous gift for my birthday from a wonderful aunt and uncle – the book “My Life in France” by Julia Child. I recently saw the movie Julie & Julia and loved it! It is a movie I highly recommend as it is funny and inspiring and a beautiful testament to the power of a loving relationship. I was thrilled to receive this book because Julia Child was one of those people that radiated light and happiness. The book, as the title suggests, is about her life in France and how it changed her forever. I have just begun reading the book but I had to share a snippet from the introduction because I found it so powerful. Child says, “Those early years in France were among the best of my life. They marked a crucial period of transformation in which I found my true calling, experienced an awakening of the senses, and had such fun that I hardly stopped moving long enough to catch my breath.”
Isn’t this what we are all looking for? To wake up in the morning and be incredibly excited about our lives. To have such passion and inspiration. When Julia Child moved to France she didn’t know how to cook, she didn’t speak French, she essentially knew nothing about the new world she was living in and yet she embraced it. She dove into the culture and the people and found true joy and happiness. I think we could all learn from this. How can we adapt and love the place we are in right now?
Today look around at your surroundings and notice their beauty. Grab a good cup of coffee or your favorite pastry or have a glass of wine out on the porch. Enjoy the small pleasures of life because they really are the best things life has to offer. If you are truly inspired, try a new recipe tonight and indulge in the aromas. Take each bite slowly and enjoy the process instead of focusing on filling your belly.
Start something today that will allow you to be so happy that you can’t catch your breath!
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