October 6, 2009

Affirmation: I choose to think thoughts of love and peace and joy.

(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)

My friend and I were talking the other day about how we sometimes pick fights with people in our heads (usually our husbands). Have you ever done that? For example, let’s say that you had hoped your husband would do the dishes and he forgets. He leaves the house and you see the dishes and begin a conversation in your head that goes a little bit like this:

“How come you didn’t do the dishes?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

“You have no respect for me or anything I do around the house. You never help.”

Ok, this is a bit dramatic, but you get the point. You wanted something, whether you asked for it or not (usually not), and then you get all fired up. You take the train of thought and run with it. You spend the rest of the day grumpy and when your husband comes home that night you are irritated with him and he has no idea why.

Perhaps you are justified in your frustration, but instead of having an honest conversation with your husband about what you need him to do, or remembering that he does help you on a regular basis, you turn it into an argument in your head that sets a negative tone for the entire day.

In order to remain positive we must be able to change our thought patterns. This is much easier said than done and I never realized how often negative thoughts entered my brain until I began this project. One of my biggest issues is the negative thoughts I have running through my head in regards to my children. I often take it personally when the kids aren’t listening to me or picking up their toys in a timely fashion. I tend to take it as they have no respect for me. But they are only 4 and almost 2 so they are not being intentional, they are being kids. It’s hard for me to admit, but I often wake up in the morning and just hope that they will behave or they won’t frustrate me. This is such a negative way to begin the day and I am almost always frustrated at the way the day is progressing.

Instead of hoping that my day will go smoothly with the kids I am going to have a plan. For example, I am going to carve out time during the day that is specifically for each of them where I am not answering the phone or distracted in anyway. Even if this is only 15 minutes each, I will be ensuring that they are getting one on one time with me. I am also going to set up activities for them to do when I need to be doing my chores or making dinner. I will set up an art project or coloring or play dough. I’ve noticed that they are sometimes bored and if I can curb that then I can ensure that I get my own work done while they are busy.

Think about something that bothers you on a daily or regular basis and what your thoughts are in regard to this. Are you making it worse by expecting it to go badly? What can you do to change that? Practice positive thinking and also make an action plan. Remember that our thoughts are blueprints for the day ahead and we have the power to change our thoughts. What kind of day do you want to have?