October 29, 2009

Affirmation: I pay my way easily
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)

Today I must pay my bills and I always dread this. Don’t we all? It’s especially hard when you are living off one income and raising kids, or you are barely scraping by each month, which is a common scenario in this economy. But is there a better, more positive way to look at our bills? Could we pay our bills with gratitude instead of dread?

Henriette Anne Klauser, author of “Write It Down Make It Happen” has a truly unique perspective to paying bills. For many years, while paying her bills, she has “written the word ‘thanks’ on the memo line in the bottom left corner whenever [she] writes out a check.” Why? She says it is “a way of taking a moment to think about the service the check is for and the people behind the purchase.” Furthermore, she notes that when she writes “Thanks!” on the memo line, she can “sit down to pay [her] bills with a grateful heart”. Essentially she is looking at each bill and understanding what paying it means for her and her family. For example, paying her heating bill provides a warm, cozy environment, and she is grateful for that.

Louise L. Hay has a similar approach to looking at her bills. She believes that “bills are really wonderful things. It means that somebody has trusted you enough to give you their service or product, knowing that you have the ability to pay for it.” Granted, there are times when we barely have enough to pay for it. But I think the idea is to not feel so much dread or defeat when we pay our bills, and if we have too many bills, we should examine what things we really need in life and what things are just wants.

A couple of months ago I had to go to the hospital because I was very ill. I am lucky, and grateful, to have health insurance but I still have a $50 co-pay for hospital visits. The bill is sitting in front of me now and I realize that instead of just being another $50 out of my pocket, it means that I had the ability to get much needed care. I am happy to write thank you on this bill because they made me feel better quickly so that I could return to my family and take care of them.

In this tough economy it is not easy to look at bills in a more positive light, especially when some companies have been operating on less than ethical terms. However, it does us no good individually to focus on all the negativity. We are much better off to remember that our electricity gives us light, our grocery bill feeds our family, and our car payment gets us where we need to go. It’s important to lay our focus on the service, not just the money coming out of our checking account.

I challenge you to think of your bills in a whole new light today. What have they provided for you and your family?

Writing Update:

I have slowly been working on my romance story. It has been a slow process but I am doing it. I am also doing some research on writing for my local newspaper.

October 27, 2009

Affirmation: I give and receive gifts graciously
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)

Yesterday I was desperate for some strong coffee, being a Monday, so I put the kids in the car and headed to the local drive-thru Starbucks. I ordered a Grande cappuccino and waited my turn. There was a car in front of me and my son noticed there was a child in the back seat. It was a really run down car and for some reason my son was intrigued by the car. I answered his questions but paid little attention to the people in front of me. I was focused on getting my Starbucks. As I pulled up to the window to pay the barista, she handed me my coffee and said the person in front of me had bought my coffee and to have a great day.

Ok, so last month a gentleman was kind enough to buy me breakfast on my birthday and this month a complete strange is buying me a cup of coffee on a morning when I really needed it. Something is going on in the world – something great!

One of my friends recently sent me a website about giving to others – helpothers.org. It is a site with stories about people who have done acts of kindness for others and how it has personally changed their own lives. After reading several of these stories last night I did a little more research and discovered something called the 29-day Giving Challenge. It is a global gift giving movement where every day for 29 days you give something to someone else. It can be a kind note, a cup of coffee, etc. It was started by a woman named Cami Walker who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was given the advice, by a South African medicine woman, to stop thinking about her so much and start giving away to others. While she still has multiple sclerosis her symptoms have dramatically reduced and she has created a website for others to document their 29 days of gift giving and how it has enhanced or changed their lives.

The website is http://www.29gifts.org/ and I encourage everyone to check it out and sign up for 29 days of giving to others. The stories on the website are inspiring and I absolutely love the idea of changing the world one day at a time, one gift at a time. When the gentlemen bought me breakfast on my birthday and then the lady bought me coffee yesterday, it made me feel really good. How nice to make others feel this way. Plus I think we live in a world of me, me and me, and by giving to others we become a little less obsessed with ourselves. Louise L. Hay points out that, “appreciation and acceptance act like powerful magnets for miracles every moment of the day.” I have signed up for the 29 day challenge and encourage you to do the same. I will report back after 29 days to let you know what changes have happened for me. I’d love to hear if others are following in my lead. Have a great day!

Writing Update:

Ok, I have to be honest…I haven’t done much these last couple of days. It’s hard to write that down here and makes me feel frustrated with myself, so today I am going to change that. Every week I get the magazine Woman’s World and there is a short romance story published every week. Today I am going to start writing a short romance story that I will submit for publishing. I am giving myself one week to finish the story. So, next Tuesday, I will report back on my progress with this. Wish me luck!

October 25, 2009

Affirmation: Today, I drop my list of expectations!
(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)

Today my husband and I are taking our kids to the pumpkin patch. It is one of my very favorite activities to do in the fall. I love getting candy apples, picking out pumpkins, and watching the kids’ eyes light up with excitement. The pumpkin patch that we go to also has a petting zoo and it’s fantastic to watch the children pet the animals and get a little scared when they nibble at their hands for food. Needless to say, I am really looking forward to the day. My expectations are high.

The problem with high expectations is that the fall back to reality is pretty steep. You expect to be at the top of the mountain and instead you are at the bottom, or somewhere in between, and your view is much different than anticipated. My kids are at an age where temper tantrums, sibling rivalry and general disobedience can creep up at any moment and ruin even the best of days. Just the other night, for my husband’s birthday, I spent a great deal of the evening dealing with my son’s behavior because he was overexcited about the birthday celebration. The ironic part is that he was looking forward to the birthday dinner all day long, and when it actually arrived he was too worked up to enjoy it, and I was frustrated that his behavior was taking center stage.

Today I am hoping that my kids will behave, enjoy picking out pumpkins (agreeing on exactly the ones they want), and we will have a beautiful day together as a family. Is this possible? Sure! Is it likely? No. That doesn’t mean it can’t be a wonderful day though. Louise L. Hay points out that “unconditional love is really just love with no expectations.” Essentially it means that I must drop my list of expectations, go with the flow today, and enjoy the beautiful little moments that punctuate the day. In view of that, if my daughter drops her candy apple in the dirt, or my son gets bitten by a goat, I am going to remember that it is all part of the experience and it does not mean that the day is ruined. I will instead focus on the smiles my kids will inevitably have on their faces at some point during the day. My pictures will be priceless, even if one of the kids has tears rolling down their face or the other one refuses to smile. I will capture the moment, and whether the view is spectacular or cloudy, I am still pretty damn lucky to get to spend the day making memories with my kids!

October 23, 2009

One Month Update

It has been on month since I started this project and I thought I should take a look at what progress, if any, has been made. When I decided to test the power of positive thinking, the first few days proved to be easy. I was excited about the idea and had really high hopes. As the days progressed it became more difficult. It’s hard to break old habits and change your thought patterns. While I still have many, many things to work on, I want to share the things that I think have already changed for me:

• I am more patient with my children and I am enjoying them more

• I am developing a healthier relationship with food

• I am sleeping better and have more energy

• I am thrilled to wake up in the mornings and read and write – I am rediscovering my passion for writing and although it’s a bit scary I am pushing through my fear and feeling good about it.

Looking at this list inspires me to keep going because these are all changes that I am so happy about. It’s been a lot of work to keep myself in a positive mode, but I am already reaping the benefits, and I think it’s critical for my personal well being to keep going.

Each day since I started this project I’ve noticed how important and powerful a person’s thoughts can be. Yesterday I was playing with my daughter and she bumped her head on the side of the couch. It was a very minor bump, but being the drama queen she is, it was played up. She put her hand on her head and said “hurt” several times and then came over to me for a kiss. She does this on a regular basis – looking for a kiss to stop her pain. Even my four year old still looks for this. Their thoughts have led them to believe that a kiss from mom will ease the pain. I’m sure if you looked at this scientifically that wouldn’t be possible. But kids don’t care about science or the actual ability of a kiss to heal. They know that when mom kisses them the pain will stop. I just love how their little minds work and I continue to be inspired by them every single day.

Today is my husband’s birthday and I am looking forward to baking a cake with my kids and getting ready for his birthday celebration tonight. I find myself feeling incredibly grateful for the life I have. I have two beautiful children, I am married to an amazing man who inspires me and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and I get to spend my days taking care of all of them. These feelings confirm that I must keep pressing forward with my new way of thinking. I am responsible for my own happiness and even though the days are often challenging, and I’m scared to make some of the big changes I know I need to make in order to be happy, I look into the eyes of my family and I see three great reasons to keep marching on!

Writing Update…

I have ordered several books from the library that will help me to push forward in my writing career. I ordered one on blogging, as I love this and want to learn as much as possible. I also ordered the 2009-2010 Writer’s Market, which is a huge book containing listings of every magazine you could write for, along with agent and book information. As soon as I receive it I will begin to make a list of every place I intend to write for and then start checking them off as I send things in. Finally, I am writing down the ideas that pop into my head every day for articles or books. One of these ideas, or possible several, will get published one day!!

October 21, 2009

The other day I was talking to my mom and she told me that she had seen a woman on the Jon Stewart show promoting a book about how thinking positive was destroying America. I was naturally intrigued since I am trying to prove the exact opposite. I had to look into it. The woman is Barbara Ehrenreich and the book is entitled “Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.” Before I begin my commentary I want to note that I have not read the entire book (I put my name on the waiting list at the library), but I did watch the episode from Jon Stewart and I did read the introduction to the book posted on Ehrenreich’s website. I have extracted her comments from there and will follow up with a further review once I have read more of her book. In the meantime…


When I watched Ehrenreich on the Jon Stewart show I definitely sensed a negative vibe with her. She does not strike me as a happy person. In fact, she appeared somewhat bitter and frustrated with the world. Her book came to be because Ehrenreich was diagnosed with cancer, and she says that instead of getting the support she was looking for, she was bombarded with people telling her to just think positive. I agree that when someone discovers they have cancer you shouldn’t immediately respond with, “Just stay positive!” In fact, one who does that is really being insensitive because they are not allowing the person to grieve and feel sad over their situation. It also shows that the individual doesn’t really understand what positive thinking is about. You can’t just say, “Stay positive,” or just “hope” things will get better. Being positive means sending out positive images into the world, taking responsibility for your actions, making things happen for yourself, and finding a way to have an inner calm. When you have a positive inner peace you do not feel the need to tell everyone to “just be positive,” and this is where I think Ehrenreich is confused. She has obviously come in contact with a great deal of people who think that if you just want to be positive all will be well and that is simply not how it works.

Louise L. Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life,” and my inspiration for this project, is also a cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was healed by what she refers to as “positive thinking.” However, it was much more than just putting a positive vibe into the world (although that is important). She did months and months of therapy, eating healthy and getting to the root of her emotions. She had a tumultuous relationship with her mother that was a great source of pain for her and she was not able to heal until she worked through her pain. Changing your life and your thinking can be painful and difficult. I am struggling every day to change my patterns and create a better life for myself. I cannot simply wake up in the morning and wish it to be better. I must work towards it.

Positive thinking is the scapegoat for denial in Ehrenreich’s book. She attacks “positive thinking” and outlines all of the negative effects but in looking at her words what she is really upset about is a pervading sense of denial and lack of responsibility taking place in our country. Her take on positive thinking seems to be coming from people who are just throwing the term around but not engaging in the work it takes to make change. I wanted to take a look at some of her quotes and respond to them…

“We cannot levitate ourselves into that blessed condition by wishing it. We need to brace ourselves for a struggle against terrifying obstacles, both of our own making and imposed by the natural world. And the first step is to recover from the mass delusion that is positive thinking.” (Ehrenreich)

Ehrenreich refers to positive thinking as “mass delusion,” but again I think it’s because she doesn’t understand how it works. Anyone who has lived even just a few years on this earth knows that life is often difficult, confusing and hard to cope with. But, in my opinion, all of these things that happen around us and to us are part of lessons that we must learn. She is right that you cannot just wish for good things. You must work hard to change your place in life; you must give yourself time to grieve if you lose something or someone, etc. Positive thinking can be a vehicle to help you learn and grow from these experiences.

“But of course it takes the effort of positive thinking to imagine that America is the “best” or the “greatest.” (Ehrenreich)

In this statement Ehrenreich has used the words “positive thinking” but they are completely misplaced. Boasting that our country is the “best” or the “greatest” is not about positive thinking. It is about arrogance. Positive thinking and arrogance are not the same thing.

“As the economy has brought more layoffs and financial turbulence to the middle class, the promoters of positive thinking have increasingly emphasized this negative judgment: to be disappointed, resentful, or downcast is to be a “victim” and a “whiner.” (Ehrenreich)

Ehrenreich is again classifying all positive thinking people into one category. Her frustration should be aimed at people who are in denial. Positive thinking does not mean that we can’t be disappointed or frustrated or even resentful at times. These are emotions that are part of the human condition. That being said, if we allow ourselves to wallow in disappointment and resentment we are doing the most harm to ourselves. If we cannot learn to recover from these states of emotion, take responsibility for our own actions, and forgive others, we will be stuck in a life that is pretty miserable; a life where we allow ourselves to be victims and whiners. We do have a choice in how we see our lives and what we do with it.

These are just a few of the quotes I extracted from her book. I could have done many more but I think you get the point. Ehrenreich does note that she does not want to see the world in a negative light and she is not looking to make things bad for people. She wants people to be realistic. Being realistic is important because it allows us to get to the heart of our emotions and deal with them. However, I’d like to encourage Ehrenreich to not wallow in her emotions forever but to find a light and a way out of them.

One final note…

When I was in college I had the privilege of reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, the story of a man who survived the concentration camps and kept his sanity. He lost everything he loved and despite all of this he remained positive. His positive thinking did not change his circumstances or the war happening in the world. The only thing it changed was his perception of his life and it allowed him to survive and thrive when he finally escaped. Frankl once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” I encourage Ehrenreich to embrace the power she holds over her thoughts and to take a second look at positive thinking.


Writing Update…

As promised, each posting will include a small segment on what I am doing to become a writer. Here is my progress…

• I have made a list of every paper and magazine I am going to submit work to.

• I have started coming up with ideas for a non-fiction book idea

October 18, 2009

Affirmation: I am a successful and talented writer.


I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life. Being a mother is the most important thing I do, and the most rewarding, but I also want to do something that energizes my spirit and helps to support my family. As my kids are getting older, and the world is getting scarier, I realize how important it is to be around for my children. I want to be present when they get home from school, and I want to be able to attend their sporting events or school functions. Therefore, it is critical for me to have a career that is flexible. Since I have started this project I have been making lists of things that I like doing best or that I find the most interesting. I want whatever career I choose to be something I love because I think in doing so it will inspire me to be a better mom and wife. Several different things have crossed my mind but I was reading a book the other day called “Write It Down, Make It Happen” by Henriette Anne Klauser and I realized I left one very important thing off my list – being a writer. Why is that?

Klauser’s book has a chapter entitled, “Resistance Has Meaning,” and it really hit a nerve with me. I obviously love to write or I would have never started this blog, or wouldn’t have previously submitted articles to magazines, or wouldn’t have started a novel once upon a time. And yet I never included this profession on my list of possibilities. Klauser points out that “Resistance has meaning, and getting behind resistance, not just around it, will set you free.” I can blame a busy schedule or the fact that I have small children, but the real obstacle in me becoming a writer is me.

Klauser suggests writing down the reasons we have for not going after our goals. She says to write down every single factor that you believe is standing in your way until you get to the bottom of the fear and address it. Klauser believes that in writing down the reasons behind your reluctance you will discover the true reasons that you don’t go after your dreams. Today I am going to get a little personal and share my reasons. Here we go…

• It is a highly competitive and saturated market – why does the world need another author?

• It’s too hard to write when you have small children.

• I’m afraid that I won’t make enough money.

• I’m worried that I don’t have enough discipline.

• Writing involves a lot of rejection and I hate rejection.

• I worry that the school I went to wasn’t the best school and I’m not educated enough.

• I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

There it is – the bottom line – I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I can blame the fact that I’m busy or that I have small children but those are not the real reasons. Those are surface reasons. I have often said that I want to be a writer, I’ve had numerous discussions with my mother about writing for a living, and yet I have never really pursued it. I have submitted an article or two for publication (and been rejected) but I’ve never put my heart and soul into it and I’ve never really put a vibe into the world that says I’m ready to go for it. I’m scared. Klauser opines that once you discover what it is about you that is holding you back, “The truth shall set you free, and free the world to help you along a little.”

It is hard to admit that you are afraid of not being good enough but I wanted to share this because I think we are all afraid of something. Now that I know why I was resisting I want to move forward and pursue a career in writing and I’m going to share this pursuit with you. After each posting I will display a note that tells you what I am doing to move forward with my career in writing. I will also share my rejections and successes along the way. I think it is important to do this because if one is to test the power of positive thinking and sending out positive messages to the world, then I must really go for it. I must take that which I am most afraid of, fight through it, and send out this message to the world…

I am a successful and talented writer.

I encourage you to look at something you are resisting and write down your own list of what holds you back. It is not an easy task, but I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still afraid, but I am no longer going to use this as an excuse to not move forward. I would never tell my children that they should simply stop pursuing their goals because they are afraid. I owe it to my children, and myself, to pursue my dreams, even if I am scared. It’s the best gift I can give them.

October 14, 2009

Affirmation: I choose to remain in the present moment.


Actress Julianna Margulies (remember her from E.R) recently made a comment in regard to raising her young son. She said, “We tend to rehash the past and rehearse the future. You can fret as much as you want, and it’s not going to change anything. Why not get through with grace and ease?” This comment really resonated with me because when you have children, especially young ones, they seem to be getting older at lightning speed but sometimes the days seem to drag on and on. I have many a times thought, “Oh, it will be so much easier when they are older and can do for themselves.” And then I immediately feel saddened because I realize I’m wishing away my time with them. Right now they are banging on the bathroom door and following me around the house to spend time with me, but someday I will be knocking on their doors begging to talk.

I think it’s quite common to spend a lot of time wishing you had done things differently in the past or deciding how you will change the future. And while I do believe it’s important to set goals, we can’t get so wrapped up in our plans that we forget to enjoy the moment we are in. Positive thinking must be used in our present moments in order for our lives to be happy. When our kids are screaming or fighting we must remind ourselves that this will pass and to take a deep breath. Before we know it they will be out of the house and the quiet will be too much to bear.

Living in the present moment can transfer to all areas of our lives. If for some reason we are not happy with our jobs, for example, we should be examining why that is and what we really want to do with our lives. We must put out a positive vibe and let the world know that we are ready for change. In the meantime, however, we should focus on aspects we do like about our jobs. Think about the tasks that you enjoy doing or certain people that you work with that really make the day pleasant.

Country music star Faith Hill has a song entitled, “The Secret of Life is a Good Cup of Coffee.” The song talks about how the little things, like a good cup of coffee, are what make life so wonderful. Things you enjoy in the present moment. I for one am thoroughly enjoying the cup of coffee I am drinking now and the few moments of quiet I presently have before my children wake up. Today I pledge to enjoy playing blocks with my children and watching yet another episode of Dora. I plan to soak up every moment watching my son playing T-ball and enjoy every little hug and kiss that comes my way today. And when the moments get tough, I will take Margulies’ advice and remember that “this is just one moment, whatever kind of moment it is,” and I will choose to live more peacefully.

October 13, 2009

Affirmation: I embrace and accept life’s changes.

In the November 2009 issue of Oprah magazine there is an entire section entitled, “Who Are You Meant to Be?” It has questionnaires and several articles that I highly recommend if you are feeling stuck in your job or just trying to figure out what you want to do in life. Today I’d like to focus on one of the articles in particular, as it deals with change. The article is written by Amy Bloom and is entitled, “But What If I’m Scared of Change?”

In changing our thought patterns and looking at life in a more positive light – putting positive vibrations into the world – we are bound to come across change. Change can be good or bad but is often uncomfortable and can keep us stuck in a rut. As scary as change can be, Bloom points out that “even if you make no changes in your lousy marriage, your stultifying job, or your painful relationship with your brother, all those things will change anyway. Your only choice is to take steps toward change.” Bloom further notes that “change is as inevitable as rain in the spring. Some of us just put on our raincoats and splash forward, some of us choose to stay home, a few admirable nuts shed their clothes and cavort in the yard, and some people go out and get deeply, resentfully, and miserably wet. And not matter what, the rain falls.” The bottom line is that we can try as we may to run away from change but there is no escaping it. Change is as inevitable as death – and as necessary! So why do we fight it so much?

There have been some changes in my life that I have fully embraced and others that I have fought. I was thrilled at getting pregnant and having babies (although I admit I didn’t fully understand how drastic and life altering those changes would be). Other changes I have fought and as a result it has kept me stuck. For example, I have worked in offices for many years (before becoming a stay at home mom), and although I have always been quite good at these jobs, they have never been that fulfilling. I always desire more – more responsibility, more challenges, etc. And yet, whenever I look for a new job, I look for the same kind of job I have always done. Why? Good question! Because I am good at it, I understand it, I feel comfortable in that realm. What if I am horrible at something else? What if I fail?

I think the biggest reason for fighting changes in our life is fear. We are afraid of what we don’t know. A little bit of this fear is healthy – it protects us and keeps us safe. But too much fear hinders our ability to move forward and really experience all life has to offer. If, for example, you never travel anywhere because you are unsure of what is out there you might ensure that your life is safe and predictable. But, you are also ensuring that you will miss out on the beauty of the world, the knowledge you can gain from other cultures, and the chance to challenge yourself and live your life to the fullest.

I tend to learn most of my lessons from my children and change is no exception. Whether I like it or not my children are going to change and grow. And I want them to! As cute as they are as babies they will eventually get older. Part of me looks forward to that (less physical work for me) and part of me is deeply saddened that they are growing so fast. But I have no control over their growth. They will grow and change whether I like it or not, so embracing each stage of their life seems a much more graceful approach.

What type of change do you fear? Is it keeping you stuck? How can you embrace this change? Today I challenge you to embrace or make an important change in your life. Remember that as scary as change can be, if you stay positive and embrace whatever might come your way, you are bound to reap tremendous rewards.

October 7, 2009

Affirmation: I love myself; therefore, I choose to be aware of what I put into my mouth and how it makes me feel. (Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)


One of my goals for this project is to lose weight, gain energy and feel better about myself. At the beginning I stated I would not go on a “diet” and this still remains true. I will not be counting every carbohydrate or calorie or exercising for hours on end. However, I still need some parameters, otherwise I feel like I am not doing anything.

First, let’s take a look back at my weight gain/loss history. When I was little I was a stick figure who could eat anything she wanted. I never worried about weight or the food I put into my mouth. I ate when I was hungry and I wanted my food to taste good. As I got older and my love for magazines kicked in I gained a few pounds. While I will always be a magazine junkie, I have noticed that every issue of almost every woman’s magazine contains a story about how you can lose weight. My natural ability to keep myself thin was sent off track by the message that I “should” be worried about my weight. Then I had two babies and weight really became an issue for me. I lost the weight from my first child in about a year (although it was distributed differently than before). I am close, but I still have not lost all the baby weight from my second child, and she is about to turn two. At this point I don’t consider it baby weight. It is simply weight that I must make an effort to shed.

Dieting in this country is a billion dollar industry. There are a gazillion books, diet programs, and even television shows aimed at helping people overcome what has now become a national epidemic. What’s interesting to me is that none of these really seem to work. They might work for some, or for awhile, but if they were a cure to obesity everyone would use them and it would no longer be a problem. The bottom line is that diets don’t work. We must instead examine our relationship with food. The purpose of food is to give us health and energy. Food should also be pleasurable – something we can enjoy in the company of others. Instead, it often becomes a reward, a way to mask depression, or something to do when we are bored.

My 4 year old son has a healthy relationship with food. When he is hungry he eats, he likes a wide variety of foods and will enjoy a sweet treat, but only if he is physically hungry. There has been several times when I have packed his lunch for preschool and included a cookie or treat and he will come home having only eaten half or sometimes none of it at all. I ask him, “Why didn’t you eat your cookie?” and he responds, “I wasn’t hungry anymore.” How simple is that?

Ok, back to the parameters. These are my new rules:

• Drink lots of water (a glass upon waking, a glass before bed and a glass before each meal).

• Eat only when physically hungry. If it is dinner time and I am not hungry I can still sit at the table and enjoy a non-caloric beverage and the company of my family.

• Listen to my body – what kind of food am I craving? (sometimes it is a sweet treat but often I am needing protein)

• Stop reading any articles related to weight loss.

• Engage in some form of exercise on a daily basis – walking is great!

• Leave guilt behind and eat for pleasure and energy.

My children seem to be my greatest teachers in life. But I want to be a good role model for them and one of the greatest lessons I can teach them is how to have a healthy relationship with food. I want them to see me enjoying my food, abstaining when I am not hungry and never focusing on dieting. I want food to be something pleasurable, not something they feel guilty about. In order to change my relationship with food I must love myself and my children are my biggest inspiration. What inspires you?

October 6, 2009

Affirmation: I choose to think thoughts of love and peace and joy.

(Affirmation from "Meditations to Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)

My friend and I were talking the other day about how we sometimes pick fights with people in our heads (usually our husbands). Have you ever done that? For example, let’s say that you had hoped your husband would do the dishes and he forgets. He leaves the house and you see the dishes and begin a conversation in your head that goes a little bit like this:

“How come you didn’t do the dishes?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

“You have no respect for me or anything I do around the house. You never help.”

Ok, this is a bit dramatic, but you get the point. You wanted something, whether you asked for it or not (usually not), and then you get all fired up. You take the train of thought and run with it. You spend the rest of the day grumpy and when your husband comes home that night you are irritated with him and he has no idea why.

Perhaps you are justified in your frustration, but instead of having an honest conversation with your husband about what you need him to do, or remembering that he does help you on a regular basis, you turn it into an argument in your head that sets a negative tone for the entire day.

In order to remain positive we must be able to change our thought patterns. This is much easier said than done and I never realized how often negative thoughts entered my brain until I began this project. One of my biggest issues is the negative thoughts I have running through my head in regards to my children. I often take it personally when the kids aren’t listening to me or picking up their toys in a timely fashion. I tend to take it as they have no respect for me. But they are only 4 and almost 2 so they are not being intentional, they are being kids. It’s hard for me to admit, but I often wake up in the morning and just hope that they will behave or they won’t frustrate me. This is such a negative way to begin the day and I am almost always frustrated at the way the day is progressing.

Instead of hoping that my day will go smoothly with the kids I am going to have a plan. For example, I am going to carve out time during the day that is specifically for each of them where I am not answering the phone or distracted in anyway. Even if this is only 15 minutes each, I will be ensuring that they are getting one on one time with me. I am also going to set up activities for them to do when I need to be doing my chores or making dinner. I will set up an art project or coloring or play dough. I’ve noticed that they are sometimes bored and if I can curb that then I can ensure that I get my own work done while they are busy.

Think about something that bothers you on a daily or regular basis and what your thoughts are in regard to this. Are you making it worse by expecting it to go badly? What can you do to change that? Practice positive thinking and also make an action plan. Remember that our thoughts are blueprints for the day ahead and we have the power to change our thoughts. What kind of day do you want to have?

10/02/09

Affirmation: I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack. I choose to be peaceful and harmonious.  (Affirmation from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay)

Today I want to challenge your thinking a little bit. How do you feel about hope? Hope can mean many things. It can be something we wish for and expect for it to be fulfilled. It can mean looking forward with confidence. It can also take on a religious meaning where we desire something in the future and look to God to help us fulfill it. All of these definitions seem, on first glance, to have positive connotations and if used the right way can have positive effects on our lives.

In 1991 Dr. Robert Anthony published a book entitled “Doing What You Love, Loving What You Do – The ultimate key to personal happiness and financial freedom.” Anthony discusses hope and says, “The problem with hope is that its basis is in the way you believe things should be. And whenever they turn out some other way, you lose a little more hope.” Have you ever said to yourself that you will go into a situation thinking the worst and then if it turns out ok than you will just be pleasantly surprised? I have done this numerous times and it is a result of past times when I was hoping that something would turn out one way and when it didn’t I gave up hope and turned to the negative. You are trying to protect yourself from hurt but what you are really doing is sending out a negative vibe in the world.

Anthony encourages people to stop saying things like “I hope this works,” and “I hope things will get better.” These statements take away our power to make change in our lives because we are waiting for someone or something to change our situation. Anthony further notes that “Hope is a sublime illusion. It promises a lot of vague answers in some far-off, foggy future. It is what keeps us suffering in place when we should really be DOING something!”

I want to note that I don’t think hope is all bad. Looking for something in the future and expecting a positive outcome can be very powerful. However, I think it must be accompanied by a willingness to take action. We must take responsibility for the things that we hope for. We can hope for things and we can even ask God to guide us on our journey, but it is still our job to make these things happen.

What are you hoping for? Are you hoping to get a better job? Are you hoping for more money or a more secure future? Perhaps you are hoping to have a better relationship with someone. Take a minute to examine what your hopes are and if by hoping for these things you are just waiting around for them to happen. Make a list of small steps you can make that will help move you forward. By combining hope and action your dreams just may come true!!