October 18, 2009

Affirmation: I am a successful and talented writer.


I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life. Being a mother is the most important thing I do, and the most rewarding, but I also want to do something that energizes my spirit and helps to support my family. As my kids are getting older, and the world is getting scarier, I realize how important it is to be around for my children. I want to be present when they get home from school, and I want to be able to attend their sporting events or school functions. Therefore, it is critical for me to have a career that is flexible. Since I have started this project I have been making lists of things that I like doing best or that I find the most interesting. I want whatever career I choose to be something I love because I think in doing so it will inspire me to be a better mom and wife. Several different things have crossed my mind but I was reading a book the other day called “Write It Down, Make It Happen” by Henriette Anne Klauser and I realized I left one very important thing off my list – being a writer. Why is that?

Klauser’s book has a chapter entitled, “Resistance Has Meaning,” and it really hit a nerve with me. I obviously love to write or I would have never started this blog, or wouldn’t have previously submitted articles to magazines, or wouldn’t have started a novel once upon a time. And yet I never included this profession on my list of possibilities. Klauser points out that “Resistance has meaning, and getting behind resistance, not just around it, will set you free.” I can blame a busy schedule or the fact that I have small children, but the real obstacle in me becoming a writer is me.

Klauser suggests writing down the reasons we have for not going after our goals. She says to write down every single factor that you believe is standing in your way until you get to the bottom of the fear and address it. Klauser believes that in writing down the reasons behind your reluctance you will discover the true reasons that you don’t go after your dreams. Today I am going to get a little personal and share my reasons. Here we go…

• It is a highly competitive and saturated market – why does the world need another author?

• It’s too hard to write when you have small children.

• I’m afraid that I won’t make enough money.

• I’m worried that I don’t have enough discipline.

• Writing involves a lot of rejection and I hate rejection.

• I worry that the school I went to wasn’t the best school and I’m not educated enough.

• I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

There it is – the bottom line – I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I can blame the fact that I’m busy or that I have small children but those are not the real reasons. Those are surface reasons. I have often said that I want to be a writer, I’ve had numerous discussions with my mother about writing for a living, and yet I have never really pursued it. I have submitted an article or two for publication (and been rejected) but I’ve never put my heart and soul into it and I’ve never really put a vibe into the world that says I’m ready to go for it. I’m scared. Klauser opines that once you discover what it is about you that is holding you back, “The truth shall set you free, and free the world to help you along a little.”

It is hard to admit that you are afraid of not being good enough but I wanted to share this because I think we are all afraid of something. Now that I know why I was resisting I want to move forward and pursue a career in writing and I’m going to share this pursuit with you. After each posting I will display a note that tells you what I am doing to move forward with my career in writing. I will also share my rejections and successes along the way. I think it is important to do this because if one is to test the power of positive thinking and sending out positive messages to the world, then I must really go for it. I must take that which I am most afraid of, fight through it, and send out this message to the world…

I am a successful and talented writer.

I encourage you to look at something you are resisting and write down your own list of what holds you back. It is not an easy task, but I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still afraid, but I am no longer going to use this as an excuse to not move forward. I would never tell my children that they should simply stop pursuing their goals because they are afraid. I owe it to my children, and myself, to pursue my dreams, even if I am scared. It’s the best gift I can give them.