November 4, 2009

Last week I gave myself one week to form a first draft of my short romance story for Woman’s World magazine, and I promised that I would update my status. I read through several back issues to get a good grasp on how the story should go, and then…nothing happened. I did not write what I said I would write. I can’t believe I just wrote that statement. But, I want to be honest. So, why did I not complete this task? I actually stayed up late wondering that. I did sit down several times and write notes about how the story should go but nothing ever seemed to pan out for me. I let the thoughts run through my mind as I was washing dishes or folding laundry, and still nothing. I do tend to be a procrastinator, but since I had set this deadline for myself I was really working towards accomplishing this goal.


The day before yesterday one of my friends was asking me about my story progress and what exactly this romance story was. I reminded her that it was just a “cheesy romance story.” Note my choice of the word “cheesy.” I in no way want to disparage anyone who has written one of these stories, I actually have the utmost respect for anyone who writes something and is published, but every time I read one of these I think “this is simple, I can do this.” So, I set out to do it. The problem is that my heart is not in it. Writing a romance is not something I really aspire to do. I’m sure at some point I could do it, but even then it probably wouldn’t be that good because it’s not my passion. I am not passionate about writing a romance story. I am passionate about writing this blog and nonfiction articles and I think that shows in my writing. So, I think I set the wrong goal for myself a week ago. I set out to do something for the wrong reasons. My goals need to be more in tune with my passion in the world of writing instead of things I think I can do or will make me money.

While I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t accomplish a goal I set for myself, I think it’s more important to be honest, understand why I didn’t, and let go of the guilt. Today my goal is to write down a list of goals that are more in tune with what I want to accomplish. One goal that I have already set for myself is by the end of the month to establish a positive thinking newsletter that I can email to anyone who is interested. I will keep you up to date on my progress with that and when it will be available.

This past week I have learned that I can’t just scratch the surface of my goals. I must dig deeper and discover what I am really about and what I want to contribute to the world. I must be honest with myself in order to get to where I want to be. So, instead of simply saying I want to be a writer I need to say: “I am a nonfiction writer.” Non-fiction is my passion. I want to write about travel, parenting, and positive thinking. While I wish that I could have said “I accomplished my goal,” I think I have learned an even more valuable lesson in discovering my true desires and which path I should take. Now, instead of a deadline looming over my head, I am inspired to write as much as possible on the above mentioned topics and see where that takes me. Now that I have figured out what I really want, the road is bound to be less bumpy.