November 20, 2009

I have been out of the loop this week because my oldest child has been sick. I’ve been dealing with doctors, fevers and sleepless nights. I wanted to check in and write something positive and inspiring, but I have to be honest – I am exhausted and the words are not flowing to me. I woke up early this morning to have a few moments to write this, thinking that my children would sleep, only to find little footsteps trailing just behind me. Needless to say I am not in the best place today. So, why am I still writing? Good question! Well, writing is cathartic for me. Just the act of writing makes me calm and puts me in a better place. And, I think it’s important to show, even though I am writing a blog about being positive, I sometimes have my off moments, or days or even weeks. This is a natural part of life. I could have not mentioned my mood or my bad week and just written something. But it would not have been from the heart.


I’ve been thinking this week that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, as well as my daughter’s second birthday. It’s a time of year that inspires people to take a look at everything they are grateful for. I love how Thanksgiving inspires people to count their blessings. It’s been hard to count anything this week, much less blessings, but I certainly do have a lot to be thankful for – beautiful children, remarkable husband, wonderful family, fantastic friends. We often lament on the things in our lives that haven’t gone well, so it’s nice to reflect on what is right in our lives. While being positive about our lives is important, and the point of this project, I think it’s also equally important to look back on those things in our lives that we saw as difficult and trying. Why? Because those things have made us who we are today. The hardest lessons are the ones that we learn the most from. So, in addition to taking a look at those things we are grateful for, let’s take a few moments to look at those things that have made us stronger.

For me, the past four and a half years have contained the most difficult, trying moments of my life. Four and a half years is the amount of time I have been a parent. This past week is not the first time I have been out of sorts, frustrated and generally exhausted. And it certainly won’t be the last. While my days have been filled with many amazing moments, I have also had long days of temper tantrums (theirs and mine), illness, whining and never-ending loads of laundry. Some days I am counting the hours until my children go to bed and I can hear myself think. Four years ago I became a stay home mom and raising my children has been my full time job. I would never trade this job for anything because I am so blessed to be able to raise and watch my children grow. But, it is also the most difficult job I have ever done. Partly because I think I have always had a bit of a lazy streak. I am a natural procrastinator and am pretty laid back about things. Children, however, do not allow you to procrastinate or be lazy. You have to be at the top of your game – if you want to do a good job, that is. There are times when I desperately wish I could go to work for the day. But, at the end of the day, or the end of the bad week, I know that I am a stronger person because of my work as a mom. I am grateful for the depth in character I have received over these past years raising children. I never would have been as resilient if it hadn’t been for my children. The lessons I have learned over the past four and a half years are priceless. Not always easy lessons, but ones that I would never change because they are making me a better person.

As I wrap up this post I am already feeling better. I have worked through my feelings, looked back on the hard times I have encountered, and my children have been content to watch a cartoon for a little while. What more could I ask for? I encourage you to take a few moments to look at those things that have made you a stronger person, and ask yourself why you are grateful for those lessons. It’s a wonderful time of year to give thanks for what we have and what we have learned.